On Knowing People with Cancer

I wish I could change the discourse on cancer - 

Because I know people with cancer.

****

Of course, my greatest wish would be the end of cancer...

that no one had to fight this fight again.

but while it is still here?

There seems to be this idea that if a person comes to the end of their life, 

 they have somehow lost their battle?  

While it is a battle, we do them a disservice to say that they lost.

They are not losers.

They are warriors...up to the very last fight.

For that reason, it only seems right to do this kind of blog post today...

because no one is in the fight alone.

When I first heard the words, "the biopsy results are back, and you have..."

I thought of the people I knew who had received the same message.

I wanted to find them.

To ask them my questions...

How did you deal with it?

I remember the total stranger who told me, "Welcome to the Club...

that no one ever wants to join"

They know things.

For instance, when you hear the words, you move...

From a life "Before Cancer" to a life "After Diagnosis"

Life is never the same.  New normals are the reality.

Today I am 5 years AD.

and to say I am thankful, is an understatement.

I am also aware that too many people did not get to reach that landmark.

But while they did not lose.

maybe we do.

The cost of cancer is high...and I don't just mean financially.
The loss of those left behind is high.

I don't take that lightly when I talk about the gifts they have left to us.

Those of us who are encouraged by the fight they fought.

We owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

Every person I've known with cancer fights hard.

With everything in them.

For one reason ... more time.

Whether they reach one week or 20 plus years.

They fight.

And if we are honest...

more time?

it's what we all want!

Good-bye's are too hard.

Each moment...each day,

is precious.

Each person in our life is precious.

And each of these who are fighting cancer are precious to me.

Those who are here, still in the fight,

as well as those who have hung up their gloves.

****

I know people with cancer... we all do.

I'm sure our lives have been impacted by them ...

and we are richer for it.

**************

And one reminder... please get your screenings.

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On the Long Wait

I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning- more than watchmen for the morning.

Psalm 130:6

Waiting...

It is such a normal part of our lives.

I think the first thing I remember waiting for was Christmas.

Then waiting to be able to finally go to school

with all the other big kids.

Waiting for what seemed like eternity for the class to finally end.

Waiting for his phone call.

Waiting for him to pop the question.

Waiting for the longest 9 months I'd ever known.

Waiting for him to get back home to me...to us.

Waiting through a long hard night for a new day

and new mercies!

Waiting for test results

Waiting for treatment to start...

and for it to finally end.

Waiting for a cure.

Waiting for Heaven.

***

This week I will reach a goal I have long waited for.

***

This week will be 5 years since I was diagnosed with Cancer

***

As I prepared to write this blog, the words did not come together the way I wanted.

I started in one direction and stopped.
Started in another direction and stopped again...

What I was aiming for was perfection.

...well aware that nobody is perfect.

... even more aware that I am not perfect!

I know that.

Just the same, I wanted a perfect post.

:-)

Sometimes I think we think that perfect is a thing...

A perfect blog.
A perfect day.

Perfect friends.

Perfect stuff.

We ignore the ordinary and focus on some distant "perfect"

Then we turn around and suddenly there is no option but to wait.

If the waiting is long and the answers slow in appearing, 

or maybe the answers we hope for don't appear at all, 

the temptation is to lose hope.

To mourn the loss of the expected perfect.

To think that our waiting has been in vain.

But...

The perfection we long for is not a thing. 

Not even a good thing.

 He is a Person. 

Our waiting is never wasted if our waiting is on Him.

It may not be easy waiting.

But remember who your hope is in.

The One who knows our whole story

 the One who writes our whole story.

The only One who does all things perfectly.

So keep looking for reasons to Hope.
Keep waiting.

He is working even now on our perfect ending.
To be with Him always.
❤️

**********

Psalm 39:7

Now, Lord, what do I wait for?  My hope is in You.

On Punting, Rudders and Words

It is still a fresh memory today.

As if the whole thing had recently happened.

Embarrassing, but so much fun, 

Some friends (who are also family) were visiting from home, so we decided that it would be fun to try out punting.

A punt, in case you were unaware, is a long narrow flat boat used for maneuvering shallow water. 

When you rent a punt, you are provided with a long pole.  

The pole is used to push the punt into motion. 

Sounds simple enough, right?

So we went for it.

These long boats look so graceful as they glide through the waters around the old college buildings that, along with weeping willows, line the river Cam.  

It is a dreamy and peacefully idyllic English scene.  

Think "Water Music Suite" peaceful.

Until "we" got in the water!

At this point I have to tell you that pushing with the pole does not work as well when you want to turn the boat quickly! 

We found this out the hard way.

There was a family of ducks.

You probably know the rest.

We struggled to avoid crashing the boat into the ducks, and ended up dividing the little family.

After we had passed, they were quick to get reunited, and did not seem nearly as stressed as we were.

Thankfully no ducks were harmed!!

Nevertheless, try as hard as we could, we could not make our punt go where we wanted!  

All of our effort was wasted, and on top of that, we probably looked rather pathetic.

Finally, a kind gentleman circled his little boat around us over and over again,

while explaining that we were steering the punt all wrong.  

It was the way we were using the pole.

"Use it as a rudder!!" he shouted.  

It took several times before we were able to understand what he was saying, 

but once his advice was clear?

"Ah... we can do that."

So we did. 

And it worked.  

Just holding the pole down on one side or the other turned the boat easily left or right, 

and we were off.  

Well ...

there was that one point where we had to push with the pole to get out of being stuck under one of those beautiful ancient weeping willows.  

In the end, it was an enjoyable day and is a great memory.

I was reminded of it recently while I was reading James.

James had some things to say about rudders.  

And great ships.  

About how those great ships were controlled, even in a storm, by a small rudder.  

Not the other way around.

The rudder steered the ship, the ship did not control the rudder!

And that is the picture he wants us to have as he brings up the subject of the tongue.

James says, 

"Consider ships - 

though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder 

wherever the will of the pilot directs.  

So too though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things!"

(James 3:5)

We know, it should be different.

But those words of ours?

Just sitting there on the edge of that tongue and before we know what is happening?  

Oh my word...

Seriously, there are so many ways I blow it with words.  

Sometimes unintentional, but much too often, I know what I am doing, and do it anyway. 

Even as I tell myself I'm messing up.

You may have never used your tongue in a way that hurt someone, 

but I think we have all felt the pain of being on the receiving end.

The one who wounded will most certainly regret it at some point.  

By then it is too late.  

The words are out there and cannot be retrieved.

Today you don't even have to use your tongue.  

Our keyboards can manage to be destructive quite well.

Words...

They can be used to hurt, but also heal.  

To harm but also help.  

To bring humiliation or bring honor.  

Our words can be hollow, or harmonious.  

They can offer hope like a great big hug to your heart.  

They can leave us with a heaviness that never leaves.  

Words can bring up mental images like losing control on a busy highway 

or settled in to a peaceful harbor

.  They can be words that offer hospitality or words that hinder community.

Our words matter and in all of the cacophony I want mine to be different.

In the third chapter of his book, James says, 

... "brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way"!

I think we really already know that.

But I'm sorry.

I don't have any easy 3-step solution that can guarantee 100% success.  

I am still struggling in this myself.

One thing I do know. 

The words that I speak are heard.

And they are heard by real life people - not just somebody "out there",

but somebody "out there" who is also immortal.

Somebody who will be affected by my words.

My words.

To and about His creation.

The person who receives my words matters much.

But to Jesus, they matter most.

He says in Matthew 12:34 that the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.

So it is a heart issue  ...  more than a tongue issue.

This made me think...

I have another memory that may shed some light on this.

When we came home from living overseas, people noticed quickly that our children talked differently.  They had English accents, and they used English words.

Being in the environment and culture of England affected even those little details for them.

Maybe if we saturate our heart in the language that we want to use?

Fill our minds with words that emphasize Kindness?  Gentleness?  Patience?

Allow the Spirit to guide our tongue instead of the tongue guiding us?

Because when the words that I am speaking horizontally matter as much as they do, 

I need to make it a priority to spend some honest time in vertical communication with the Lord.

...to be sure my heart is where it needs to be so that my words are the words that they need to be.

Gracious Discourse... reminding myself.

On Things Learned from a Country Preacher

It would take just over half an hour to get there...

and was usually a pleasant drive through small English villages, fields and pastures.

Unless it was one of the days that I was on my own...

On those days it always felt like I'd run the whole way!

By the time I got the children dressed,

and made the drive in a vehicle that spent more time in the shop than out of it?

I was exhausted! 

But just being there gave me a chance to catch my breath (and restore my soul)
before it was time to go home
and do it all over again in reverse.

Our little group of believers was made up of American and English Christians

and we recently were offered the use of a very special building
...

We had church in an old English independent chapel.  

Really old.

This building had witnessed Christians in worship consistently for years...

Even before there was such a thing as the United States of America!

There was a stone plaque inside that said as much.

Literally...

:-)

One Sunday, a pastor was visiting from "home".

I'd gotten there early and while I sat on the pew to catch my breath,
he walked around and pointed out the plaque to me while
admiring the unique architecture inside this old chapel.

"This is exactly the type of church where Spurgeon could have preached!"

It was a familiar place to me. 
It was my church. 

Amazing things happened there!

But I'd never taken the time to imagine someone like Spurgeon standing in the pulpit.  

Spurgeon was not a name I was familiar with until that Sunday.

The pastor said Spurgeon started his ministry preaching in small independent chapels all over this part of England since he was living in the area around Cambridge at the time.

And he was only in his teens! 

I didn't give it much more thought, but then...

 as I was reading a book about the history of lacemaking in this area, 

there was a note that caught my attention.  

It said that said the mother of Charles Haddon Spurgeon had been a lacemaker.

Each time, he became more endearing, this country preacher.

Back in the states, I read his book, "All of Grace" and became a fan.

It wasn't until years later when I had access to the internet that I was able to discover more about him.

For instance, he read Pilgrim's Progress at the age of 6!

His mother, the lacemaker, had 17 children; not even half survived their baby years.

Life came with hardships and Spurgeon would know many.

He became a very popular preacher.

At the age of 19, was invited to move from this quiet countryside
to be the pastor of the largest Baptist congregation in London.

Sounds like exciting times, but they were hard days.

 During his first year in London, 20,000 people died from cholera.

England became involved in the Crimean War.

It was 1854.

His popularity only increased.

And this when he was only 22.

In 1856 he married.  Before they celebrated their first anniversary, they were parents to twin boys.

And one day short of the twins 1st month birthday, Spurgeon would face something that would have an effect on him for the rest of his life... 

Remember he was in the midst of major adjustments at home...
a new wife and two new babies!

His church had grown to thousands and had to move to a new building to accommodate the crowds.  

In his first sermon in this new place, someone shouted "fire".

You can probably imagine the confusion as 10,000 people tried to leave the building 

while an unsuspecting 12,000 outside still tried to get in. 

When it was over, there were 7 people who had died and 28 badly injured.

Spurgeon was never the same, and dealt with depression the rest of his days.

It doesn't take much to imagine the depths of depression that he experienced in the years following.

It probably doesn't surprise you to know that he never again used the same text.

or that it is said he almost quit preaching altogether.

Yet he still preached.

Still shared the gospel message.

Still recommended the grace of God.

And still pursued hope.

He did not walk away from God.

This kind of life will always have my attention.

A life depending on God can face hardship with faith

 by hanging on, by leaning hard, by taking one step at a time...

Depending on God who proves faithful again and again.

This is how I want to live my life.

For too long I thought that depression had no place in the life of a Christian.

I was wrong.

 Spurgeon is now a regular part of my devotional reading; 

Morning & Evening, his devotional classic.

Even having read it for years now,

 I still find fresh encouragement that I'd not seen before, 

 I highly recommend it.

Every day and every page he points to Jesus.

Why wouldn't he?  

Jesus is the only one who knows our every struggle.  

And who else sees every tear?

Does He not know?

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was"

(Isaiah 53:3)

"Doubt not his grace because of thy tribulation, 

but believe that He loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. "  

CH Spurgeon

After all that Charles Haddon Spurgeon went through, 

I think he is a perfect spokesman to share the news 

that no matter what you face... Jesus knows.

And Jesus cares. 

Always.

********************

I have been able to make many connections to lacemakers and Christians who lived in this part of England.  

For instance, you can find old bobbins that are inscribed with the name "John Bunyan",

 the author of Pilgrim's Progress.  

The  woman who first taught me had one of these special bobbins. 

The author of the book I spoke of earlier, "Romance of the Lace Pillow" shared that there would have been many bobbins inscribed this way 

because there were few of the lacemakers in this area that had more books than their copy of the Bible and Pilgrim's Progress.

This makes it even more interesting to me that the book Pilgrim's Progress would have been a favorite of his (he read it over 100 times), seeing how his mother was a lacemaker.

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If you are interested in reading more, let me recommend a book

"Spurgeon's Sorrows"

by Zack Eswine

He has researched Spurgeon's many sermons and writings to bring us encouragement for those who suffer and those who love them.

And he does it in a wonderful way.

One of my very most favorite books ever.

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