Wednesday, July 19, 2023

On Naming Things

 Ive been thinking a lot lately about names.

Partly because I am working on our genealogy, and partly because I have a story in mind.

Genealogy was something that I started looking into when we lived in Georgia and had a library nearby with a huge genealogy section.  

A friend who lived in Macon took me there, and the librarian who worked there took time to show me how to move around in the books and periodicals and microfilms that were all part of the research.  

I don't remember the librarian's name, so we will just call him Reed. This was not a hard decision, because it is not a name I am assigning him for the duration of generations. 

It might however, be a a name I use for anonymous librarians from here on out.

He asked me who the oldest family member was that I knew, and where he lived.  That was my grandfather, easy.  And he lived in Georgia.  We figured out the earliest census that he would have been part of, and Reed pulled the microfilm for that census in Georgia...

While I knew his birthplace as Bacon County, at the time of his birth it was Appling County.  Reed gave me a map with the old county names on it.  

After this, he left me alone to see what I could discover.

 I sat at this machine to read the microfilm.  I scrolled through what seemed like miles of film and then I saw it.  

Alone and in the quiet of a library.  My grandfather's name.  

Listed as a child.  

On the census, he was listed along with his father and his mother. and brothers; names I did not know. 

I should have paid more attention when my grandfather would run through the names of his brothers. 


I reached out and put my finger on the screen on his name and sat there to let it sink in.

This was my grandfather, as a child. It was a time in his life that I did not know much about, and people who I did not know at all.  But there was his name.  His family.  

And they were also mine.  

Later, most of my research would be done on the internet, but the way I felt that day I have never forgotten.  

Reed told me that finding this name here in this county at this time was a big deal, and that my search had just gotten a lot easier.

And he showed me a set of books written decades ago about the people who came and settled this area of Georgia.  They author called them pioneers. And the books listed their names.  

I found my family there.  Again....on the first census that was ever taken in the area.  In 1820.

These books had some family stories, mostly names and dates and places. Places they called home. 

 It was certainly a treasure.  I made copies of what I could, and I couldn't wait to go back. 

Finding this information made my imagination go wild.  What was life like for these people?  There were Taylors galore and lots of Carters, and Lees, and Sellers...  Last names that connected people by relationships.  

And the plethora of first names!! 

James.  John.   Henry.  Madison.  Macy.  Missouri.  

 Cinderella.

Seriously...Cinderella!  

My great great grandmother was Cinderella!

I wondered about the person who would name their little daughter Cinderella, and then I found out her name was Cinderella too.  

Somewhere a mother held a little baby girl in their cabin in the pine woods and wrapped her up with homespun cloth and placed her in a homemade crib. 

And then she named her after a fairy tale princess.

Let that sink in and dwell on it a second. What thoughts went into that?

Why were you named what you were named?

I was named because my mom really liked Debbie Reynolds.  So I've been told.

My father had a really unique name, and he told me that he thought it was a family name, but he wasn't sure.  I found his name as a last name in this intriguing group of people who have impacted my life before I ever knew anything about them.

These Wiregrass Pioneers.

These were people who were given land as payment for their service in the Revolutionary War.

They moved into their land and made relationships with others who came at the same time.  From surrounding states.  From different lives and situations, they left and moved into land they had to clear to make homes and farms and furniture.  

And they built churches.  On their lands.  

I've been to one of those churches.  When I first went, there was a rail that divided the church into two.  I was told that men sat on one side and women on the other!  And I remember singing hymns there. The pews were made from trees on the land, and the land became the site fore big get togethers.  Family reunions with food and fellowship and connections just because you are family.

These names I found were these people.  

And they loved the people that loved the people that loved my grandfather.

More than "just a name".  Much more.  But more than my mind could take in as a child there.

I just knew they were my family.

My own family consisted of four girls and our parents.  For some reason, after I was named, my parents thought it would be a good idea to name the next sister with a D name, and then it was kind of a  requirement when sister # 3 and #4 came along.

I remember them trying out names out loud, and listening for the way it would sound.  This time they changed the order and put the D names second.  My third sister was given a name that would represent my dad, and my fourth sister was given a name that would represent my mom.  I'm glad they did that.  

Handed down names mean something more than we might realize at first.

So now I am writing a story and the part that is slowing me down is the naming.  

I want names that will mean something.  

I want names that sound good, and are easy on the tongue, and will be remembered.

And I'm stumped.  

It's not just naming the characters, that is slowing me down, but the locations.  The shops they like, the church in the town and the towns themselves.  

While looking for names, I have gathered lots of of possibilities.  They come from many sources, and mean different things to me.  The names have to be right.  I want them to be right.  My characters also want them to be right.

While gathering names, I have also come across words that I am keeping.  

Words that I did not know existed.

Words that I love. Words that I am adding to my word list book.  These words have struck a chord with me and I don't want to lose them...to forget them.  That's why I keep this list.

Like Hiraeth.  

It's was in a list of Welsh words.  It means longing for somewhere.  

But it is more than just being homesick. 

It is a deep ache that can be an ache for somewhere you've never been before, or even a place that only exists in your imagination!!

I'm pretty certain it will show up again in my blog.  

Or the story.

But more on words some other day.

This morning, it's the names that occupy my thoughts.

You can find a lot about what was important to the people then...like the name Marion in South Carolina, or  George Washington Carter in Georgia, or James Madison Taylor.

These were their heroes! Surely you wouldn't name someone after a villain!

And their heroes were heroic enough that they carried the names down through generations.

But for some reason... name popularity changes with time.

Mary, Martha and Ann for instance.  

A search on the internet will tell you that while Mary is still on the all-time most used names at #1, 

in the list of most common girl names for last year, it was not even in the top 25!


When I was in school, there were so many Debbie's that we had to use our last initial to differentiate between us.  Now I don't ever hear the name in younger people.

I wonder if the newer choices will be names that are handed down to others in the next generation.

Will the names last?




I will say it again. Choosing a name, one right name, among so many is not easy.

Next time I read a story, or a book...I will have a deeper appreciation for the effort the author took in giving their characters the names they did.

Eliza Bennett.

Oliver Twist.

Valjean...

Dumbledore


So what's in a name? A bunch it seems.

********************

 Proverbs 22:1

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.


********************

Acts 11:26

The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch.


********************

Isaiah 43:1

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.


💟

Friday, May 5, 2023

On Cat Adoptions

I am taking a detour for a bit here to mention something that is happening today at our house,

It is a very special celebration!

We are celebrating the 5th birthday of our cats.


Thankful that we could be part of their adoption story.


While we don't know much about their beginnings, we have a few clues.

We know that they were found by someone and taken to the humane society.

... their birthdate was (?) 5/5/2018

... that they were too young to be put up for adoption.

... that they were kept together

... that they were given their first shots and that they were spayed and neutered

-ID chips were inserted and recorded

... that they were raised in a foster home until they were old enough to be adopted

...that their personality descriptions fit them to a "T".

...they came with their favorite toys!
(and still love them)

I am so thankful for all that goes into a cat adoption.  

The organizations that are involved are amazing.
Thank you Thank you Thank you to all of them and to all the people involved! 


One day, three months later, they were put up for adoption, 
together,

 and ...  
they "just happened" to be at the exact store where our daughter was shopping for pet supplies.

Note: 
this was perfect timing
She was not shopping for cats.

Nope.
Not at all!
She was just stopping in for a few supplies.


To be honest, 
We  had been talking about adopting a cat, 
but decided that the right time for us would not be not for several more months.

Then she sent me these pictures... and this note.

"Special ... 2 for 1 sale!"






I said I just couldn't.

Not right now.
I needed to talk to Dad but he was working.
It would have to wait.

It was closing hours,
but
we decided to take it up again the next day.


After saying goodbye,
I kept looking at the picture.

Two?

I called him.
called my sweetheart.

Actually, I sent him the pictures.
and he called me.

"Two cats?"
"Can we do it?"

Do we want to?
Really?

yes
YES!!


So I called our daughter back.

She was on her way home, but gladly offered to turn around.

And I called the pet store to ask if they could wait...just a bit.

That night
we became cat owners.

Two sweet tabby kittos.

It was love at first sight, 
and this summer they will be 5 years ours.

Thanks pet stores
Thanks Human Society
Thanks foster cat parents

Thanks daughter


As crazy as it seems,
our lives would be less rich without these two, 

and definitely incomplete.

*****


"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens, 
that whatever you say to them,
they always purr."

Lewis Carroll

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Checking off the Lists



Moving is always an adventure.

Whether you are moving a mile away or an ocean away.

It can be so exciting, 

But it also comes with the mundane business of getting moved.

Moving comes with to-do lists.

Our decision to move to England was followed up with a long list of things to do on this side of the ocean.

and another list after we arrived there.  


It was obvious this was not a typical move.  The to-do list was filled with unique steps.

Like shots.

Bud, myself and the little one!


Also passport photos.

We were thinking we would go get pictures done... no big deal.

Not taking into account that when a baby is involved, everything is a big deal.

  The photographer gave me a chair to sit in and hold her so that she faced the camera.

This little one was just as content and peaceful as she could be,

 until he snapped the picture and the flash bulb did what it does best...

it flashed!

Her arms went up - bent at the elbows, her eyes opened wide and her mouth formed a perfect circle. 

 The picture looked like one of those baby dolls with plastic limbs and a squishy tummy!


And she went to England with that picture in her passport.

*****

The part I dreaded most was packing.

So many questions!

Do we keep this? Toss it?  Give it away?

The way our move was handled, there were two shipments, packed over three days.

In the first one we sent the things we would absolutely need to have soon after we arrived in England. 


So we sent our cooking utensils and pots, dishes and silverware.  

We sent sheets to use for curtains, since we wouldn't know how big the windows would be 

or how many we'd need.  

Many others had made these moves before so there was a lot of advice available.

This shipment had to be limited to just a few things because these would be sent to arrive quickly.  

You had to choose carefully what to include.


Our household goods and furniture were shipped on a "slow boat"

The movers wrapped and boxed up everything in one day, 

and the next it was all put into crates on a truck and taken away.  

It would be awhile before we would see them again.


 In a matter of days, all our "things" were gone.  

We said our goodbyes to friends and left what had been "home" for almost three years.

With our luggage and car, the three of us headed to our other "home" to spend these days with family.

Both of our families lived in the same town, so that part was easy.  


We  had a few weeks  left to spend making memories with people we loved before heading overseas.  

That part was hard. 

Goodbyes are never easy, and we were leaving for a long time.


I grew up near the ocean.

and we took advantage of it while we were there.

An uncrowded beach is a perfectly peaceful place to breathe deeply.  

Simple and yet majestic, the sound of the waves, the smell of the salt water and feel of the wet sand between your toes.  There is nothing like it.

Looking out on the horizon, the vastness never fails to take me by surprise.

It's good to remember that the water has boundaries.  That it stops when and where God tells it to.

And that this same strong powerful God directs our steps. 

We knew He was directing us then.

And we knew He would be with us.

We pointed across the water and said to our almost 6 month daughter...

 "Way over there?...

that's where England is."

I'm not sure if I really thought she'd get it.

But I was beginning to.

The size of the ocean said it best.

We were about to be moving our family a long way from home.


**********

We still had to get there, and our next stop was New Jersey.

It was the last item on our to-do list.

In New Jersey, we took our car to the terminal and checked it in for shipping overseas.

When we left there, everything we could do on this side of the ocean had been done.

We were as ready as we could be.

We went back to Dover where we would be flying out the next day.

It was weird.  

I remember thinking we were so tired,  but that doesn't adequately describe the feeling.

We needed a new word.  

One for so tired, completely hopeful, quite nervous, a little scared and a lot excited!






Wednesday, April 12, 2023

Thinking out loud (not really. I'm writing)






It's' been awhile,
and I'm not sure why I let it go so long.
I love writing, and I enjoyed keeping up with this blog,
but I have not posted one thing in several years.
Lots of drafts ... just no posts.

I missed this blog 
and I wanted to get back.

There is only one thing you have to do to get back to something.
You have to start.
So that's what I'm doing here today.

I'm starting.

**********

 The little country of England had been a dream place of ours for years, 
but we had lots of dreams,
and no one expects their dream to become reality.
Neither did we, 
Until Bud was offered a 3 year assignment in England, 

This dream was about to be real life.
And life for us felt like a whirlwind of preparation.

Three years in a place we had only dreamed of living...
The only thing I knew for sure was that it would be nearly impossible to fit all of the places we wanted to see into three years.

How do you choose?
Where would you start?
  
Imagine.
You have before you a country with a rich heritage.
Whatever your interest, there is an England for you.

For example,
Books?

Think large literary heritage.  

There are places you can go that were the inspiration for books with such beloved characters as 
Winnie the Pooh,  Oliver Twist, and Mr. Darcy.   

Maybe you prefer to see the homes where the authors lived;
 to walk in the grounds of the huge castle-like home of Sir Walter Scott, 
or the tiny cottage garden at the home of Beatrix Potter, 
or walk in the heather covered wild moors of the Bronte's.

While in the US,  you can go on tours of the homes of stars, 
in England, 
you can tour the homes of 
the people who wrote the stories 
that have been making people into stars for centuries. 

Crafts?

Take your pick. 
Basket making, Weaving, Lacemaking?

For ages, these crafts were more than a leisurely undertaking;
yet today, some of these skills are in danger of being lost. 

Good to know, there are places where you can still learn how to make things...just for fun.


History? 

Pick a place.
Whatever direction you look you are surrounded by it.  
Medieval Castles, Ancient Forests, Cathedrals, and Battlefields.

In order to get to our favorite picnic spot, we walked across a bridge built by the Romans!

In fact, while we lived in England, archaeologists discovered evidence of a Viking settlement, 
and raised up an old ship from the bottom of the English Channel!
(it sunk on its maiden voyage after it was sent out by Henry VIII)
Still today historic discoveries are made! 

After we left, they dug up the remains of a former king right in the middle of a parking lot!

Speaking of kings...
No need to tell you that England has a few royal things that might be interesting to you.  
They were to us.
And while we lived there, England celebrated a Royal Engagement, a Royal Wedding, and a Royal Birth. 

And still, there is so much we would learn from our time there..
We would learn the character of this place
People who lived their lives and changed the world.

The thing that caught me by surprise was how much of our Christian heritage could be found there.
Those I had never heard of gained my utmost respect 
because of the part they played in the ongoing story of our faith.

As time passed, 
and with the help of more than a few friends and strangers, 
we learned many things that made England special to us.

We went there with a few ideas of the things we wanted to see.
Saw so much more than we'd imagined.
Met friends that are dear to us to this day.

We ended up calling England home for six years...
twice the time we had anticipated,

Six years. 

Where woul you start?  

What would be first?


For us, it was finding a house that we could call home.


*****

(Note:  the house pictured above was not that house, it was Beatrix Potter's )









Friday, July 26, 2019

Now We Are Six... Counting Years



Now We Are Six... Counting Years

"Let us not lose heart in doing good...
for in due time we will reap 
if we do not grow weary
Gal. 6:9

There are little moments in life and there are big ones.

There are moments that are little, but they get made into big ones,
and moments that are BIG ones, but can easily be missed.

Some of these moments are to be remembered.

The counting of years.

Think weddings, births and graduations.  
New jobs and new houses.

We rejoice in these moments 
and mark them in birthdays and anniversaries as well as smaller but no less important ways.


In the poem by A.A. Milne, "Now We Are Six", 
 Christopher Robin, talks about reaching the very important milestone of being six.  

He begins the poem by saying, "When I was one, I had just  begun"
 and ends with "Now I am six, I'm as clever as ever..."

Obviously, a lot happens in six years!

***

Today I am six years beyond being told that I had cancer.

And I have loved these six years.

Six years... of birthdays and births!  Weddings and anniversaries!  

Six years of big moments and accomplishments by family and friends!

A lot of good things have happened in the six years since then!

***

Yesterday I asked Bud how long we've been married..."was it 44 or 45?"  

It was 44. 

"Six more years and we will have been married 50."

Bud answered, "But, 50 is not enough!"

:-)

And Christopher Robin thought 6 was the pinnacle.

Six years old is a good place to be,

but like all grown-ups, I know in reality that it is not all... that there is more.  

Much more.

Some will be thrilling.
Some will not.

My  heart's desire, is to move ahead with a gratitude that comes from knowing in any and every circumstance, God is good! 

Even in broken times, He loves me. 

 He is near when the shadows are overwhelming and when the hard is hardest.  He is faithful.  

And in the good times?  
I hope I will be rejoicing all the more!

****************************

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: 
for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities
Psalm 31:7

****************************

It's good to look back and see His footprints in this part of our life.
How he met our needs, working in little and big ways.
Most days I don't think about cancer.
But if there is an appointment coming...blood work?
or the anniversary of the end of treatment?
Or a friend's new diagnosis...

Am I cancer free?
I think so.
One thing for certain, there were no cancer cells left in the lymph nodes where the cancer was found.
Melted is the way one of my cancer doctors described them.
We are still doing things to prevent it popping up somewhere else.
And with that said, 
thankfully...
Now we are six!
And counting :)

********************************


I want to mention another poem here by A. A. Milne as well.

It is called Knights in Armor

I think it beautifully describes those in the fight against all of the hard in this world...
however it shows up.

Those who face their battles each day and know that it won't be easy.

Who are tired of the fight and in the fight.

Who know when they get out of bed that it will all be uphill for them...

and could think their mountain top will never come into sight.

For those who could easily... so easily... give up.

At the end of the poem, it says,
"Sometimes when our fights begin, I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't, because they're Dragons,
and I don't."

(and so we are back at the start... let us not lose heart in doing good)

:-)

*********************************

Thursday, July 26, 2018

On Knowing People with Cancer





I wish I could change the discourse on cancer - 

Because I know people with cancer.

****
Of course, my greatest wish would be the end of cancer...
that no one had to fight this fight again.

but while it is still here?

There seems to be this idea that if a person comes to the end of their life, 
 they have somehow lost their battle?  

While it is a battle, we do them a disservice to say that they lost.

They are not losers.
They are warriors...up to the very last fight.

For that reason, it only seems right to do this kind of blog post today...
because no one is in the fight alone.

When I first heard the words, "the biopsy results are back, and you have..."
I thought of the people I knew who had received the same message.

I wanted to find them.
To ask them my questions...
How did you deal with it?

I remember the total stranger who told me, "Welcome to the Club...
that no one ever wants to join"

They know things.

For instance, when you hear the words, you move...
From a life "Before Cancer" to a life "After Diagnosis"

Life is never the same.  New normals are the reality.

Today I am 5 years AD.
and to say I am thankful, is an understatement.

I am also aware that too many people did not get to reach that landmark.

But while they did not lose.
maybe we do.

The cost of cancer is high...and I don't just mean financially.
The loss of those left behind is high.

I don't take that lightly when I talk about the gifts they have left to us.

Those of us who are encouraged by the fight they fought.

We owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

Every person I've known with cancer fights hard.

With everything in them.

For one reason ... more time.

Whether they reach one week or 20 plus years.
They fight.

And if we are honest...
more time?

it's what we all want!

Good-bye's are too hard.

Each moment...each day,
is precious.

Each person in our life is precious.

And each of these who are fighting cancer are precious to me.

Those who are here, still in the fight,
as well as those who have hung up their gloves.

****

I know people with cancer... we all do.

I'm sure our lives have been impacted by them ...
and we are richer for it.

**************

And one reminder... please get your screenings.

***************

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

On the Long Wait




I wait for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning- more than watchmen for the morning.
Psalm 130:6



Waiting...
It is such a normal part of our lives.

I think the first thing I remember waiting for was Christmas.

Then waiting to be able to finally go to school
with all the other big kids.

Waiting for what seemed like eternity for the class to finally end.

Waiting for his phone call.

Waiting for him to pop the question.

Waiting for the longest 9 months I'd ever known.

Waiting for him to get back home to me...to us.

Waiting through a long hard night for a new day
and new mercies!

Waiting for test results

Waiting for treatment to start...
and for it to finally end.

Waiting for a cure.

Waiting for Heaven.

***
This week I will reach a goal I have long waited for.

***

This week will be 5 years since I was diagnosed with Cancer

***

As I prepared to write this blog, the words did not come together the way I wanted.
I started in one direction and stopped.
Started in another direction and stopped again...
What I was aiming for was perfection.

...well aware that nobody is perfect.
... even more aware that I am not perfect!

I know that.

Just the same, I wanted a perfect post.

:-)

Sometimes I think we think that perfect is a thing...
A perfect blog.
A perfect day.
Perfect friends.
Perfect stuff.

We ignore the ordinary and focus on some distant "perfect"

Then we turn around and suddenly there is no option but to wait.

If the waiting is long and the answers slow in appearing, 
or maybe the answers we hope for don't appear at all, 
the temptation is to lose hope.

To mourn the loss of the expected perfect.

To think that our waiting has been in vain.

But...
The perfection we long for is not a thing. 
Not even a good thing.

 He is a Person. 

Our waiting is never wasted if our waiting is on Him.

It may not be easy waiting.

But remember who your hope is in.
The One who knows our whole story
 the One who writes our whole story.
The only One who does all things perfectly.

So keep looking for reasons to Hope.
Keep waiting.

He is working even now on our perfect ending.
To be with Him always.
❤️

**********

Psalm 39:7
Now, Lord, what do I wait for?  My hope is in You.