On Being Bald and Stuff

It was the first question I asked…

“Will I lose my hair?”

Not “what side effects can I expect?

How can I best prepare for the side effects?”

Not even “Will this plan work?”

"Will I lose my hair?"

Vanity was not one of my issues...at least I didn’t think so.

But even so, I still wanted to know first if I was going to be bald.

My Beautifully Brilliant Oncologist said yes in no uncertain terms.

                

She even narrowed it down to within a few days of when I could expect it to begin.

                

              And she ended up being right.

              She usually is.

So, while all the doctors started planning my treatment, at the advice of my BB Oncologist, I planned how to get ready to be bald.

A newly made cancer friend said she just cut her hair to 1 inch long all over her head. She told me that she felt by doing this, she had control over how and when her hair came out.  

Bud and I decided we would go that route too. 

For some reason that I cannot remember at all right now, at the time we thought that it would be a good idea to make a video of it.

We set everything up, and I gave a sweet prepared little talk (for the benefit of my adult children) about how I was doing just fine with this whole thing. And I really thought I was.

Until the trimmer touched my head!

I am pretty sure that at that precise moment, fine is not how I looked!!
My scalp was not prepared for that!

The video was turned off.

I was ready to call off the whole thing!

But we decided to give it another try.

The only problem was that I forgot to turn the video camera back on when we started again.

Repeat the sweet speech.

We cut some more.

It hurt again.

We turned the video off (only this time it was actually on) while we figured out what to do.

We did this again and again.  

Each time not taping the pretending to be sweet parts… just the reality.

At the end, when I started to watch the video, we had only taped the sections with me and a patiently sweet husband painfully trying to figure out how to do this thing without it hurting. 

No sweet speeches.

Nothing sweet about it really.

So we deleted it.

And then we laughed about it.

We laughed more than you might think during these hair-free days.

One day we were at a gift shop at Moffitt Cancer Center and the shopkeeper commented on my scarf/turban.  She asked who made it, and I quickly pulled it off to show her the tag.

When I looked up she had this horrified look on her face!

You can guess why...

I put the scarf back on my head (much faster than it had come off) and we all relaxed again.

Besides my husband and daughter, I think she was the only one to see my head completely bald. 

I know that cancer is not a laughing matter, but when you can, it is so helpful to find things that make you laugh.

And believe me when I say…with my husband?  We shared many laughs during this otherwise difficult time!

If you ever hear anyone talking about this guy modelling a scarf for his wife in the waiting room at St. Vincent's, you will understand a little of what I am talking about.  This guy is my favorite.

So that day, the day of the hair cutting, I realized how much I would not have control over the things that were happening... not over how my hair would be lost, or when.  I could not control how my body would respond to treatments.  I did not control any of it.  

I find that out every time I try to control things.

I just can't.  You probably can't either.

But you and I know the One who is in control, and we can certainly trust His Goodness in anything.

In losing my hair, I learned a few things about the benefits of having hair.

For example, I found out that there are a lot of hairs on our head!  When my hair did start coming out, it was in small bundles, but it took a long time for every hair to be completely gone.

That was a lot of hair!!

And God knew that number... although for a short time in my life I knew the number too   :)

I knew that losing hair meant losing what was on top of your head, but it  also meant that sometimes you lose your eyebrows and even your eyelashes!

Eyebrows really define your face... you might not realize how much until they are not there.

I found that eyelashes help keep sand out of your eyes, and that the air seemed to always be sandy. You really notice this sandy air on breezy days or if you are riding in a car with windows open.  

Wearing sunglasses helps.

So does squinting.

We won't talk about what life with no hair in your nose is like :)  You can thank me later for that.

But, losing your hair was a good sign that the chemicals were killing the fast growing cells in your body (which includes cancer cells as well as hair cells) and that is a good thing.  So even no hair could be something to be thankful for.

As always, there is much to be thankful for!  In my journal I recorded things like:

Showers take no time at all!! 

In fact, I could get out of bed and be ready to walk out the door in 10 minutes tops… which is helpful when your energy level is zero.

And the days of shaving were over!!!

Well, for a little while anyway.

When the treatments ended, the hair returned in stages, at about the same rate that it fell out, and was not quite the same when it did make its reappearance!!

It first came in with the smooth fine texture of a baby's!  The color was so purely white that it looked surreal, almost as luminescent as a halo!

Then it stuck out stiff like a dandelion on which a wish is about to be made.

Later, as it grew longer and thicker, and very very wavy, darker hairs started to reappear.

And finally, my favorite silvery strands returned.

Right now it almost exactly resembles my wig...
my wig was something over which I did have control!

Funny how things go.

On Courage

"Courage is found in unlikely places."

J.R.R. Tolkien

What character traits do you admire in a person?

One of mine is courage.

I  am drawn to the stories of people who stand settled in the unsettled places of life.  The places where a firm footing is hard to find and there is often the danger of losing their footing completely as in an undertow, when wave after wave buffets them until they go under.  

These are the ones who don’t stay under.  

They get back up knowing they will face waves again.

These are the people who understand the story in which they are a part; the people who know the plot, and understand that we all have a part in it.  They are ready to step into their role and fulfill all that the Author intended, because they know the Author and are assured of His goodness.

I am drawn to their stories.  

Their stories teach me what trusting God looks like.

In every chapter.

In the beginning of the story, when everything is fresh.  When you can clearly see the hope that is available.

In the middle of the story, when things go awry.  When you wonder if there can even be a happy ending.  Surely not now, not after this.  Not ever. Those places where you wonder how they will make it to the end ... or if they will make it to the end.

And at the end.  When in the midst of all you have been through and all you are facing, you discover a fresh new hope. 

A stronger hope.

An enduring hope. 

When I read their stories, there are some things that surprise me. The most obvious is that most of them never consider themselves brave; they don’t see their actions as courageous.

Many of them come from places of brokenness or timidity. 

They know their own weakness and rely instead on His strength.

Strength that He promised. 

He never lets them down; He is there with them through it all.

Their lives remind me that He will always be there for us as well. 

Deuteronomy 31:6  "Be strong and courageous; don't be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you."

When you look at their lives, you see a common thread …

a life that trusts God with all of the details, or maybe as they are struggling, only most of the details,

and at times it might even be just one.  

But that one is that this God who loves them is a good God.

Their desire is that they live each day surrendered to the One who loves them, the one who loves us more than any of us can ever deserve!

These are some of the women I am talking about. 

You probably know them as well.  

Gladys Aylward 

(single missionary to China; rescuer guide to 100 children; expert storyteller)

 “Here I was worrying about my journey, while God was helping me all the way.  It made me realize that I am very weak; my courage is only borrowed from Him, but, oh, the peace that flooded my soul … because I know that He never faileth. I would not if I could, turn back now, because I believe that God is going to reveal Himself in a wonderful way.” 

Corrie Ten Boom

 (concentration camp survivor and conduit of God’s love and forgiveness)

"When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer."

Joni  Earickson Tada 

(someone who faces unimaginable pain and hard things depending on the Sovereign One)

"He has chosen not to heal me, but to hold me. The more intense the pain, the closer His embrace"

There are many others.

While these women are all obviously courageous, even facing difficulty with grace, I noticed something else that they all share.

They have opened their lives to us.  The ups and downs, the good and the bad, the sweet and the bitter.

I also see that in women who are not as well-known.

The woman who taught a Sunday School class on the topic of depression, sharing her own battle and struggles at a time when not many admitted their struggles in this area.

The author who wrote from the safety of an isolated place, but found herself in the limelight.  In her willingness to be vulnerable with her struggles, she has taught many about the goodness of God.

There was also the mother who, facing her own death, did not withdraw into the privacy of her family and home, but continued to share her life with us, teaching us what a life that is held by Jesus looks like at the good-bye.

Then those women that we do know - the brave women who move in our own circles.  

The one who gets up each morning and keeps going, despite facing physical pain or that one who is experiencing great personal loss.  

The woman who knows suffering herself.  And the one who loves and cares for someone who does. 

The woman who can make us smile even while they deal with hardships that most could never imagine. 

The woman facing the unknown each day, with no end in sight to her problems. 

The ones who always have a kind word to encourage or a forgiving word that helps heal.

Their lives are a gift to us.  As much as their pain breaks our hearts, it is a blessing to be allowed close to someone who is suffering. 

It will be Jesus that you will be drawn to as you are around them, but you may not realize it at the time.

While their wisest words and actions may only come after a lifetime of trusting God, you can know that when their reliance is on God …  you'd better hang on. 

Stay close. 

You will learn from them.

There will be much wisdom.

Thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, that he is our Father and the source of all mercy and comfort. For he gives us comfort in our trials so that we in turn may be able to give the same sort of strong sympathy to others in theirs. Indeed, experience shows that the more we share Christ’s suffering the more we are able to give of his encouragement. This means that if we experience trouble we can pass on to you comfort and spiritual help; for if we ourselves have been comforted we know how to encourage you to endure patiently the same sort of troubles that we have ourselves endured. We are quite confident that if you have to suffer troubles as we have done, then, like us, you will find the comfort and encouragement of God.

II Corinthians 1:3-7 (J.B. Phillips translation)

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What about you?  Who are the people God has used to teach you more about Him through their examples of courage?

_________________________

And my personal favorite?

Ruth Bell Graham.  

Sharing her husband with the world, literally, she has faithfully pointed her children to Jesus and allowed us all to see them live life in strength and weakness, depending constantly on His nearness.

She once wrote:     “My business address? Wherever He puts me...  But He is my home.”

For Our Good

"Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance"  James 1:2,3

So how do you handle it when things go wrong? When you face tests or those various trials?

How do you make sense of your hard?

Do you sometimes feel like you just don’t deserve things to be like they are?

Take just a moment and ask yourself, do you want what you really deserve?

I remember a discussion I had about a family who were facing some hard things in their lives and I said without thinking, “But they have done everything right!”

I honestly thought this about them; that their lives were at a standard of near perfection that should have meant things like they were facing would never happen to them.

But I felt the Lord’s gentle nudging reminding me that they were not perfect, because no one here is…

None of us have done everything right, lest we forget why there is a cross…

And the reason we don’t get what we deserve… is that He took it for us.

His ways are not our ways.

But we want them to be.  We want Him to act like we think He should and move in ways that we want Him to.

We keep trying to fit the unmeasurable God of the universe into a box.

Our box.

But He doesn’t cooperate with our wishes or our desires when it comes to molding Him into the god we want Him to become.

I wonder when we do that, if we are actually worshiping the God we think we are...

or if we have made some kind of an idol of the god we want.

Is doing it right the key to an easy trouble free life?

When you are trying to live life right, what happens when hard enters the picture?

We need to remember that hard things, trials and suffering in our life do not mean that we serve a God who doesn’t care or is oblivious to our pain.  

If we think this life is an easy journey, then we are mistaken.

If we think we can achieve perfection on this side of eternity, we are mistaken.

A woman who has been like a mentor in my life even though I have never been in her presence, is Ruth Bell Graham, the wife of evangelist Billy Graham.

The inscription on her grave reads:

“End of construction. Thank you for your patience”

We are each works in progress, and we blow it sometimes.

But God’s grace…

Still God’s grace…

That is what gets us through.

That is what gets us through and helps us stand.

When we blow it, we can come back to Him and His love will meet us there, just like the Prodigal’s Father.

When the circumstances are beyond our control, and troubles come, His love will meet us there.

Whether we’ve blown it or not.

His love.

Always there and always enough to help us in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.

His love going over and above anything we could imagine because it is nothing close to what we deserve.

I have been the person that thought that if I did “A, B & C”, then God would follow through with His part and do good things in my life.

Those good things pretty much always involved a easy life and blessings heaped upon blessings. An easy life wasn’t ever really my reality, but it was my unrealized and unstated expectation.

The problem with the equation is that I have not ever been the person who did everything right.

Everything I have... everything is not at all what I deserved.  

It is all grace.

Nothing good that I have done... all of the good that is in my life is because of what He has done.

The Lord has slowly loved me back into His reality, and has tenderly and patiently taught me that He is my Good.

He is your good too.

Is a life free from problems something we deserve?

Even more important, is it something I have to have?

No!

I am learning that His nearness is the only thing I have to have.

Blessings heaped?

I have them, yes… I am an amazingly blessed woman. 

God has shown that to me more clearly than ever these last few years!

A life full of His blessings is my reality, but those blessings are not my good. 

That place is only reserved for Him…for me to be near to Him.

And this?

Let me remind you that we are not finished yet.

There is an eternity with Him ahead and the wonders that wait for us there are indescribable.

And the wonder that will outshine them all is our Lord Himself.

Jesus will be there.

That is when He will wipe the tears from our eyes and we will fully understand what it is to be always and completely in His presence… eternally near to the one who loves us enough to take what we deserved for us so we wouldn’t have to.

Our only good.

Who is in Control?

I saw it first in a photo of a collage, this group of magazine clippings pasted into one large picture.

That one phrase caught my attention:  “Control is for the Timid"

So I googled it.

It originates with an advertisement for some kind of off road vehicle.

"Control is for the timid" sounds like an adventure is just waiting to happen, and if you are the kind of person who has to be in control, you are just going to miss out on all the excitement.

In some ways I think they’re actually on to something there. 

There are two lies we believe when it comes to control.  

That we need it and that we have it.

I spent a long time thinking I was in control.

Trying to be sure that everyone was safe.  

That everything was working as it should in my life.

I made lots of plans, and there were some good ones! 

But honestly? Sometimes, your plan does not work like you want it to.

Sometimes you have to abandon your plan altogether and go to Plan B.

For instance, yesterday I planned to drive back home over a certain bridge.

There was a problem though.  I did not turn on the right road to do that.  I turned onto a one-way street with several lanes of traffic all going in the opposite direction than the one I desired to travel at that time. 

I made a wrong turn and ended up going the wrong way!

My goal had to change and it had to change quickly.  

There was no way I could get over that bridge going down that road I had found myself on then. 

In fact, there was no way I could continue going in the direction I desired on that road at all!

It was just an impossible situation.

What do you do then?

How do you cope?

When your best ideas or plans have to change?

Thankfully for me, the traffic quickly understood my dilemma, and did what they could to help.  They stopped.  

Only then could I move my car into the opposite direction of these very patient and kind drivers and continue down a different road.

A different road, but the right road.

No one ever even honked.

For which I will be eternally grateful   :-)

For me, Plan B worked and worked very well.

I was able to finally get over the bridge and get home.

That plan had to change because of my mistake, but I was able to see my plan succeed by turning around and going in the right direction.  I had to have help to do that, and found the help in some very surprising places.  But regardless, the help was there when I needed it.

There are times when your Plan B doesn’t work either, and you are left out there with no idea what you need to do.

Those times when there is no one to help direct your path at that moment… or the next.

Sometimes... you have to give up your plans and even your dreams entirely.

What do you do then?

How do you cope?

When you realize you never had control anyway?

I remember the exact moment and place when it first hit me that I couldn’t fix something.

That it was completely out of my control. 

That there was nothing I could do.  

There was nothing anyone else could do either.

I remember it because I knew exactly at that moment, that God was not surprised by this at all.

That He would not just handle it, but He would handle me in it.

And that was what gave me peace.

This was the first time I didn’t ask Him to fix something, but I asked Him just to hold me through it.

My heart was breaking as I admitted to God that I was tired.

Tired of trying to do in my life what I could not do.

What I never could do…  and it was ok with me. 

I had finally accepted the words I had sung since childhood….

That I am weak.

And He is strong.

I think as Christians, sometimes we live under some illusions.

One is that we can create strength.  That being strong is good and weak is bad.

The other is that being broken is weak… which we think is bad

But God tells us that He is most glorified when we are both of those… weak and broken.

Because only then do others see the peace in our life coming from somewhere outside of ourselves.

Because we are weak and helpless.

I knew that most on the night I got the phone call.

“There’s been an accident… I’m ok, but my arm is hurt and the truck is gone”

While I was able to somehow stay calm, the questions whirled through my head.

How bad is he hurt? Will it be a long recovery. Will he be able to recover at all?

And then he said to me.  “When you see the truck, you will know God is taking care of us”.

So remember when you realize, when it hits you, that being in control is not realistic.

Trust Him.  

There may be a Plan B.  

And God will provide just the right people at just the right time to help you achieve that plan. Remember that you are in good hands.  

HIS hands.

And if there are no other plans in view? 

When you feel like your life is reeling around you?

Trust Him.

Remember then that You are still loved. 

Still cared for by a God who is very much in control.

And He is good enough and God enough to be the ONE in control!

Anyway, “Control is for the Timid”.  And that’s a good thing. 

Because it’s when we are timid, or weak, or broken that we can discover it is Who we put in control that makes the difference for the most exciting ride and life ever!

_____________________

II Cor. 12:8-10

Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. 

But He said to me, 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness" 

Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses,

so that Christ's power may reside in me. 

So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, 

because of Christ. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

_____________________

Your Hands by JJ Heller

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From "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore

talking about a time in her life when there were so many transitions, she said,

"As I walked out to the car, I looked up and inquired, 

'Could I have one thing around this place I can count on?'

As I got in the car, I sensed the Father speak His Word to my heart.

'Beth, I will never leave you nor will I ever forsake you.' "

______________________

I would like to honor a very special lady today by closing with a quote 

she used in every Gateway to Joy radio program she recorded:

"You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms"

"Elisabeth Elliot"

A Perfect Day

So one day I asked him if we could plan a big trip for our 40^th anniversary. 

Months later I asked him for a small day trip.

This is what I wrote at the time -

“Funds are tight.  Really tight”

“God keeps us and holds us through it all.” 

“Big trips can wait.”

“Big trips don’t have to happen at all!”

When the day arrived, we woke up early and headed out to our favorite place. 

We went to the ocean.

Over the years, I have come to love how this place awakens my senses.

The smell of salt water in the breeze, the sound of the waves on the shore and the call of birds, the feel of mold-able wet sand under my feet and the way the breeze blows the tall grass but does not blow the waves that move always back and forth on the shore. 

God’s majesty and creativity is just so absolutely amazing there. 

Few places reach deep into my soul like the edge of the ocean.

That is why we went to walk on the beach, the place where the sun wakes up the morning.

The place where God would start our day… OUR special day…in HIS glorious way.

And He did.  Rays of sun light showing pink the edge of the world… slowly brightening the horizon until the pink changed to a golden white glow as the sun starts rising above the curvature of the world.  

Our world.

The ocean at sunrise seems a perfect place.

And then our day took off. 

The rest of the day was filled with the kind of things you would think a day would be filled with when two people lead an ordinary life.  There were plenty of things that needed doing at our house, and we tackled them with all the gusto that goes along with knowing the value of a day, the value of every day.

Because sometimes, you forget that each day, each moment is very much a gift.

The sunrise helps you remember that.

The darkness goes, and a new day begins. 

There is hope. 

There is always hope.

Because this day was one that marked a milestone, memories were shared, tears were shed and much laughter; so much laughter!

So much to be thankful for in our lives.

It had all the feel of a perfect day. 

After dinner, we made a quick stop at a grocery store; an ordinary stop at an ordinary place.

But we do not serve an ordinary God.

He has a way of reminding us.

As we were checking out, I glanced outside and what I saw took my breath away.

The sun was setting, and doing so in a most glorious display.

The sky was filled with all manner of color; shades of turquoise, stunning pinks and gold hues filled the sky!

I pointed it out to Bud. 
I pointed it out to the woman at the check-out.

Giddy like a child who catches a glimpse of a surprise just revealed, I pointed it out to anyone who would look!

I went outside to get pictures before it was gone and while I tried to find the right place to stand and capture the moment, a man came up behind me.

“Wow, huh?  Just wow!”

Exactly…

A mother pointed it out to her young daughter while she searched for her own camera.

An ordinary grocery store parking lot, transformed, as person after person made notice of the display of grandeur taking place in the sky.

As we left, I was almost certain I heard it.  “And you thought the sunrise was amazing”

There was no place more amazing at that moment for me.

No place would I rather have been.

Incline your heart toward God… Look for His glory in the ordinary.

He is the one that make moments glorious.

And sometimes He does that in the most mundane of places.

Even in a grocery store parking lot.

Bud said, “The perfect ending of a perfect day”

Amen, and amen.

______________

The problems we faced at that time did not go away because of this amazing day.
Some of them still linger.
You face them too.
But we can know God is good in spite of the hard things we face.
And His nearness? That is my good.
It is your good too.
No matter what the circumstances that surround us may bring.
_______________

We can only appreciate the miracle of the sunrise if we have waited in the darkness.

Anonymous

 ______________

Psalm 16:8

I have set the Lord continually before me; 

because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken

________________

When Time Comes to a Standstill

It was easy to tell people which house was ours when I was growing up.  Ours was the white house with turquoise trim on the right side and back of the house, and green with white trim on the left and front of the house.  My parents had started painting the house, and for some reason this was as far as they got.

As a family, we laughed about it, and when the house was finally finished, we joked that we would not be able to give people directions as we had been able to for the months, if not years, that it was colored with two themes.

That was then. Now, I am dealing with my own version of the paint job.

It is my kitchen floor.

You can still tell where we stopped cleaning the grout.  No one has pointed it out, and I only recently noticed. 

It has been almost 2 years since we started.

Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans.

In June 2013, we found a great recipe online for a way to achieve clean grout.  It looked good, the expected results looked incredible and it felt doable. I sprayed the solution on the floor and scrubbed, Bud used his foot and a towel to rinse it off.  We were amazed at the results.  We started in the laundry room and worked through the kitchen. 

When we reached the hall, we were surprised by visitors, and all the cleaning stopped.

That night, I rolled over and woke up with excruciating pain on my side under my arm.  Every time I moved the arm, the pain was horrible.  I went over in my mind what could be causing such pain, and felt the area to see if I could find the cause.  What I found was a large lump. It was obvious that something was wrong. I decided to wait and see if it was better by morning. 

We were pretty sure that I had some kind of inflammation as a result of the scrubbing, but it did not go away and the pain got worse.  Later in the week, we made an appointment to see the doctor, who felt certain it was nothing, a benign lump of tissues. For our sake, he ordered an ultrasound to be sure.    

The lump ended up being cancer in a lymph node.  

Cancer, like any kind of hardship, doesn't make an appointment or happen at a time that is convenient for you. 

Your world stops for a time.

It reminds me of something I noticed after  9/11.  A week after our country faced the worst crisis of our history, I noticed that my flip calendar in the kitchen was still set on 9/11.  I looked around the house and found every single calendar that we owned was still set on the same date, as if time itself stood still for seven whole days.

The floor quickly became a non-priority.  We had other things demanding our attention.

Just recently I noticed the floor again. 

It made me wonder about the house.  As a child in the house, I made light of it.  But now I wonder if there was some kind of worry my parents were dealing with when the painting came to a stop; why it took so long to get back to it and finish.

There are people around us every day with unfinished things, incomplete tasks in their lives. 

Maybe not half painted houses or floors, but dreams abandoned, hope discarded.

I might have looked at these people and wondered what their problem was.  I could have even made light of their unfinished things. If I did, I hope it never happens again.

I hope I will be sensitive enough to come along side of the person.

I hope I will be sensitive enough, compassionate enough to say I am here, and I care.

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Angie Smith (from "I Will Carry You; The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy")

The most important thing you can do to help someone who is in the depths of loss is to pray. Make notes on your calendar to write periodically, call out of nowhere, and read a psalm to your friend that you think will minister to her. The more you pray for her, the more in tune you will be with how the Holy Spirit is desiring to use you in her life, and that makes all the difference. 

_____

Acts 28:2 (HCSB)

The local people showed us extraordinary kindness, for they lit a fire and took us all in, since it was raining and cold.

_____

"When I think about what I want to be doing, it's singing truth into the darkness.  Life is hard, and I've walked through some heart-breaking things with friends.  But when we're walking right up to that darkness with God's truth and light and life, there's a sense of hope breaking in.  I want to help encourage the wounded and weary in our church pews, that's what I want to be a part of."

Ellie Holcomb singing "With You Now"

                                                                       

On Framing Perspectives

Picture an empty frame; just waiting to be filled.

Now picture the empty frame as your mind.. 

In fact, the Hebrew word for mind, yetser, actually means frame.

As Beth Moore explains in Breaking Free, “The implication of the word should be understood more in terms of a picture frame than our physical frame or body. In essence, our minds work to frame every circumstance, temptation and experience we have. We see events from our own perspective and context."

We put a frame on it, and assign it value or worth.  

This is wonderfully illustrated in an article written about Josh Bell in 2007.  He had carried his priceless violin into a busy subway station and began to play.  A world famous violinist framed in that setting resulted in only a few who stopped. Most people walked right on by.  The night before, when the frame was a grand concert hall, people paid hundreds of dollars to hear him play.

Perspective.

I sat down earlier this week and wrote these words...

"If I had my way, my days would be filled with sweet things."

What I planned to say next was that there are too many days filled with hard.  And there are. But I had to stop myself.  While a peaceful sweet day is a good thing, would I want my days filled that way, with sweet things?  Why do I put more value on days that are easy? As if I can frame hard days with old worn and chipped frames, while framing sweet days with frames made from the most beautiful materials?

I have to re-frame my perspective.  As much as I love the days that are filled with sweet peaceful moments, those sweet days are not my good, remember? My good is the nearness of God.

With that frame, my perspective becomes a desire for a day that is filled with His nearness, and then no matter what I have to face, I know that I have all I need for a good day. A good day does not necessarily mean a day of sweet things. A hard day can be a good day when God is near.  I know that when He is close, I am truly safe.  That I can have peace when the day is filled with turmoil.

Hard days don't change the truth about who God is.

I want to see what God is doing in my life by framing my days on the truths in His Word, that God is good, that He loves me with a great love, and that He holds me in the palm of His hand.

I can focus in the truth that He comforts me in my sorrow,  strengthens me in my weakness, and that He makes beauty from ashes.

It doesn't matter then how hard the circumstances where we find ourselves.  We can say with confidence along with the Psalmist,

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it".

How are you framing the moments in your life?  The people in your life?

I found this short journal entry from November of 2007 and thought it fit here very well:

My soul needs some waking up!!

This morning is as good as any.

So, here I am at the dining room table, and as I look out the window into the back yard; I can see the calm tranquil setting there as the rays of sunlight steal through the branches to shed light on small patches of grass.

So peaceful…

Yet, in the same window, I see the reflection of a much more hectic life as traffic speeds past the window in the front of my house. 

                   Framed in the very same window, yet two very different perspectives.

I get the impression that the choice is mine – whether I help to make a place that is peaceful or hectic here in my home depends in part on where my focus is.

I want peaceful.

            And joyful

                        And kind, gentle, loving, uplifting…

(and sometimes, maybe – just a little bit hectic)

                                                      ___________________

The original story of Josh Bell’s subway performance:

Pearls Before Breakfast

(I really liked the part about the way children responded to his playing)

And, yes, he did it again!  Seven years later:

 Joshua Bell is Playing in the Metro Again

                                                       ___________________

Oswald Chambers:

We are not fundamentally free, external circumstances are not in our hands, they are in God’s hands, the one thing in which we are free is in our personal relationship to God. We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us, or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be.