At the Ending of a Year

How do you approach the ending of a year?

I remember one year's ending very clearly.

It had been a very hard year and I was so glad to see it end!

It never dawned on me that the year just on the horizon would be so much harder that it would make me wish to have the other one back.

But it did! 

I learned that being thankful for the end of one year may not be the best way to look ahead to the next!  And it was in that new year's hard that I saw in new ways the trustworthy God who was my Help in everything that I had feared.

I do like to take some time now at the end of a year to reflect on the things that have passed in our lives during those 12 months.  And every year it becomes more clear to me that I depend completely on His grace.

He knew my needs before I even knew I had them, and His grace was meeting those needs before I was ever aware of it.

Without His working and grace in my life, I would be hopeless.

And I am not hopeless!

Looking at the past we can see things much clearer.  Like seeing where we have been in a rear view mirror, we can see how events fell together, and how God was at work in them.

Looking at how He has acted for us in our past, makes it easier to see how we can depend on Him when we look at the future.

When we look at the future, we really have no idea what lies ahead.

So we can approach it basically in two ways.  We can worry about it, even fear the future.  

This is my personal default if I am going to be honest about it.

Or we can trust God to take us where He wants us to be in whatever lies ahead for us.

We can open our hands to whatever plans God chooses to put there.

Because we know the goodness of God, then we know we can trust Him.

These days I close out the old year by thanking God for the way He met us in our hard days and hours and even moments of the year before. 

I thank Him for His provisions, for His care and love and especially for His presence in my moments.

I look back at what has been written in my gratitude journal over that year, and I remember...

I remember as I read the things I wrote during the good times and the struggling times, all of those "hitherto hath the Lord helped us" times.

And because I have observed and kept a record of Him acting in my hitherto, I can remember that He has promised that whatever all of our new years hold for us... He has us.

When we lived in England, we went to see the city of York. The first time we went, I had no clue what was about to unfold as I turned one corner and looked ahead to the end of the street.  There standing before me was the magnificent York minster.  The sight took my breath away.  It rose 230 feet set against a clear blue sky and the sight just seemed like one of those fake backdrops you sometimes see on television! This sight we were amazed by was the real reveal! We wondered how something so glorious could be real?  Yet there it was.  Its mere presence demanded that we notice the majesty of the one that the building was dedicated to as the builders dedicated over 200 years to building it.  The workers who began the work were not around to see the finish!  

And it was an unforgettable sight.

Looking ahead to the New Year can be like that.  We have no idea what lies ahead for us around the next corner.  It may be a glimpse of His glory unlike any we have seen before.

It  could be a clear glimpse of His glory... just suddenly there before our very eyes.

Making an obvious display of His majesty.

Or it may be wrapped in hard. And we may have to walk through that hard before we can see His glory in His plans.

We may never see His glory the way He planned it to unfold while we are in this life.

Whatever lies ahead, one thing we can count on is that He is with us, and that He will help us.

So I will ask myself these questions:

Has the last year been hard?

Has Jesus been here with me?

Did His grace meet my needs?

Will my next year be hard?

It might.  It certainly can be.

But will worry or fear make it less hard?

Of course not.

We don't know what the future holds, but He does.

And He holds us ... whatever the future brings our way.

We tend to look at what is possibly ahead without factoring in that part.

He holds us.

He knows what is coming.

Good or Bad ... He knows.

He has hitherto helped us.

And He always will.

We can look ahead without fear overwhelming us.

We can rest in the knowledge that He will be with us whatever comes, draw near to Him and look ahead with gratitude for all He has helped us with so far.

We can open our hands to receive whatever He has for us in the future without fear,

because there is always good to be seen, even though it may be wrapped in hard.

There is always good because He is always good.

And we might make at least one of our New Year's resolutions to be that we will live every moment drawing closer to Him, regardless what might lie around the corner.

Because whether this year holds good or bad things...

"the nearness of God is my good"

My good will always be in His nearness.

Praying that this year finds

us all living every moment drawing closer to Him

___________________________

One thing I am going to do this year is to list all of the Bible verses I find that teach the truth that our good is found in His nearness.  

I tend to think that if certain things happen?  That will be good.  

I have found that is not the case. 

I can face anything.  

Anything.  

What I need is Him.  

Near.

That alone is my good.

That alone is what I am depending on this year. 

And you?  What are you depending on?  

___________________________

Open My Hands

Sara Groves

___________________________

Please join me in prayer for those who already know that they will be facing hard this year.

Pray that God's grace will meet them there.

IN their hard.

That they will know they are held.

On Looking for the Light

There was a song I heard sung by a trio in our church years ago.

It was called, "I Have Seen the Light"

The lyrics were amazing...

"I have seen the light, shining in the darkness, bursting through the shadows, delivering the dawn"

Light!

Lights always bring a bit of wonder to any place.

We just happen to live near a neighborhood that is immersed in lights at Christmas.  

The people who live there make the streets around them glow with lights of every imaginable shape and color.

We love to watch them as Christmas approaches and they begin to decorate.

They put weeks into getting all of the lights put in place for the enjoyment of the visitors who come to ooh and aah over them.  

And boy do they come!  

The streets are filled with cars slowly moving through the neighborhood as people amazed at the lights continue to come year after year.  Each year bringing more visitors than the last.

Light creates a unique beauty whatever form it takes; in the neighborhood displays at Christmas to the Creator's own display in sunrises to sunsets.

In our own house, we are situated in a way that light coming into the front door acts as little prisms of light, casting miniature rainbows across the walls and floors of our entryway.

It's fascinating.

Everyone in our house has found some delight in catching sight of the rainbows.

And holding them in our hands.

But the light always reflects back to the One who is the Light.

And the giver of light.

To Jesus.

In the past few years, I have taken pictures of light shining in places, and have noticed something.

Sometimes light is the most beautiful when it is framed in shadows.

Light with shadow.

Brilliant light framed by darkness.

Shadows do not mean that there is no light.  

Light is there or there would not be a shadow.

And in our own lives, when it seems that God is not nearby, we know He is.

Even when we don't see Him.

We know He is because He said so Himself.

He said He would never leave us.

His name, Immanuel, it means He is with us.

But when we walk through a shadow, it seems like we are walking alone in the darkness.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

Many (actually, more than many) years ago, my husband and I, in different countries at that time, discovered the same author; Oswald Chambers. 

One devotion in particular spoke to us both.

It was about times of darkness in our lives.

Treasures of Darkenss - Chambers

Isaiah 45:3

It is the glory of God to conceal His treasures in embarassments, in things that involve us in difficulty.  I will give thee the treasures of darkness.  We would never have suspected that treasures were hidden there, and in order to get them we have to go through things that involve us in perplexity.  There is nothing more wearying to the eye than perpectual sunshine, and the same is true spiritually. The valley of the shadow gives us time to reflect and we learn to praise God for the valley because in it our soul was restored in its communion with God. God gives us a new revelation of His kindness in the valley of the shadow.  What are the days and the experiences that have furthered us most? The days of green pastures of absolute ease? No, they have their value; but the days that have furthered us most in character are the days of stress and cloud.

I love how he said, "God gives us a new revelation of His kindness in the valley of the shadow"...

The treasures of darkness.

His goodness in our hard.

We need to know He is near to us these days.

His light is needed in our world.

And it is here.

We see it in the light of angels bringing the good news to shepherds.

And in that manger in the dark street where a baby was laid...

And in the words of the songs of Christmas.

"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining... Till He appeared!

And the soul felt its worth..."

He came ... and showed us that we have worth!

"A thrill of hope!  The weary world rejoices!"

"Fall on your knees!

Hear the angel voices!

O night divine...

(video clips from The Nativity... song by Sara Groves "O Holy Night")

On Disappointments in December

It was a simple question that came right out of the blue.

We were talking about presents when he asked me which Christmas was my favorite.

I stumbled for words.

Not because I didn't know what to say, but I just could not come up with the right word.  This happens a lot when I am talking to someone.  Part of where I am right now in this story of life after cancer treatment.  I know what I want to say, but the words or thoughts I want to use go wandering somewhere between my brain and my lips, and I just cant find it.

Just sometimes.

But this was one of those times.

So I did not talk about the memory that has always been my favorite Christmas.

The one I always share about a time as a young wife with a new baby, and no money for a tree and a car that did not work and the first Christmas in a new country with no family around.

and... the wonder of our first snow, a new tune for Away in the Manger, being surrounded with new friends who also missed family...

That story will have to wait for another time.

Instead,  I talked about a Christmas when I was also a child.

It is not hard to bring up the memories of my childhood Christmases.  The whole experience of Christmas was something I treasured.

Every sensation imagineable!

The smell of cookies and the taste of fudge or divinity from the kitchen, the feel of soft tinsel and scratchy pine needles, smooth wrapping paper and snuggly blankets, the sound of carols and the sight of all the glittering ornaments, sparking lights and beautiful window displays in the stores downtown.

And most of all the magical feeling that something special was on the horizon!

Oh my the anticipation!

This anticipation that something wonderful was just on the horizon?

This was the reason for the question in the first place.

The anticipation had moved from something that should have been one of  joyful expectation to one of worry.

Worry that a recently discovered item was not discovered in time to make it under the tree by Christmas morning.  

Worry that Christmas morning would bring disappointment.

I know that kind of worry.

There was this one Christmas in particular.

For some reason, my parents had told me I was going to get a giraffe.  It was the code name they had given to some new clothes they'd gotten me.  But the code escaped me.

All I understood from that mysterious clue was that I was getting a giraffe.

Seriously?  I had not asked for a giraffe.  I had not even thought to ask for a giraffe.

The logistics of the whole thing was more than I could get my mind around.

Still, my little mind reasoned...it just might be fun to be the only person in our neighborhood to have a giraffe for a pet!  Our very own personal tree trimmer!

What made matters worse, was that a commercial aired on television at the time of a giraffe being transported in a truck to some destination unnamed.

When I saw the commercial, I wondered if this was indeed, my giraffe?

If there was some truth to this story after all?

So I worried, about how I was going to take care of a giraffe, and then the disappointment I would feel if I did not get one.

When Christmas morning arrived, I opened each present wondering if there would be a clue as to where I would find my giraffe.

No giraffe.

And my child-heart was disappointed.

I don't think I am the only one to have experienced that.

I think disappointment is often a side effect of Christmas.  Disappointment in things and also in people.  We get hopes up unrealistically, and then something or someone disappoints us.

It is not a new thing, this disappointment.

Just think back over 2,000 years ago.

To the first Christmas.

The nation of Israel felt abandoned.  No word from their God for so long.
No angels, no prophets... nothing except a promise that God would send a deliverer.

Their hopes ran high.

But what they hoped for was not exactly what they got either.

They had hoped for a mighty King... a warrior to free them from oppression once and for all.

What they got was a baby.  Helpless and fragile.  Born into a family in poverty.

I'm sure if they had seen Him that night without the benefit of the angels announcement, or the guidance from the star, they would have wondered what God was doing...and they would have been disappointed.

In their own way of working out how God would send them a savior, a king seemed like a reasonable solution.

But, a baby?

It's easy to see how the logistics of this whole plan would have escaped them.

Did escape them.

Often.

Like when their king went out of His way to heal unclean lepers, and play with the children, and feed the hungry...
and wash their feet.

Like when He died.

Thankfully humanity was not the one in charge of the logistics for this event.

In fact, the logistics of most of our big events are not up to us, or we would never get sick or hurt or betrayed or lose loved ones.

No tears anymore.

We would never have planned for a cross.

But would have also missed the thrill of the empty tomb.
And the freedom of forgiveness.

If our hopes consist of what exactly comes under a tree, in a diagnosis, or in a kingly leader to deliver us from our troubles, then we have reason to be afraid of what lies ahead.

But our hopes lie in that baby.

Something that seems completely wacko to the way most of us in the world think...

but we have a God who does not think like most of the world.

And so we have this beautiful amazing treasure.  A baby.  The Son of God.
Who happens to be ...

God Himself with us.

God Himself the gift.

And therein lies the wonder.  He is with us.  Walking with us.  Wrapping His arms around us in our pain, rejoicing with us in our joy.

Always!

While I was sad at first that I did not get a giraffe that Christmas, I did unexpectedly get something that has stuck with me all of these years.

I think that might have been the first Christmas that I knew a little of something called wonder.

The initial disappointment in the lack of a giraffe was soon replaced with relief.

A lot of relief.

And the memory?

The memory
has been a treasure.

One of my favorite Christmases.