At the Ending of a Year

How do you approach the ending of a year?

I remember one year's ending very clearly.

It had been a very hard year and I was so glad to see it end!

It never dawned on me that the year just on the horizon would be so much harder that it would make me wish to have the other one back.

But it did! 

I learned that being thankful for the end of one year may not be the best way to look ahead to the next!  And it was in that new year's hard that I saw in new ways the trustworthy God who was my Help in everything that I had feared.

I do like to take some time now at the end of a year to reflect on the things that have passed in our lives during those 12 months.  And every year it becomes more clear to me that I depend completely on His grace.

He knew my needs before I even knew I had them, and His grace was meeting those needs before I was ever aware of it.

Without His working and grace in my life, I would be hopeless.

And I am not hopeless!

Looking at the past we can see things much clearer.  Like seeing where we have been in a rear view mirror, we can see how events fell together, and how God was at work in them.

Looking at how He has acted for us in our past, makes it easier to see how we can depend on Him when we look at the future.

When we look at the future, we really have no idea what lies ahead.

So we can approach it basically in two ways.  We can worry about it, even fear the future.  

This is my personal default if I am going to be honest about it.

Or we can trust God to take us where He wants us to be in whatever lies ahead for us.

We can open our hands to whatever plans God chooses to put there.

Because we know the goodness of God, then we know we can trust Him.

These days I close out the old year by thanking God for the way He met us in our hard days and hours and even moments of the year before. 

I thank Him for His provisions, for His care and love and especially for His presence in my moments.

I look back at what has been written in my gratitude journal over that year, and I remember...

I remember as I read the things I wrote during the good times and the struggling times, all of those "hitherto hath the Lord helped us" times.

And because I have observed and kept a record of Him acting in my hitherto, I can remember that He has promised that whatever all of our new years hold for us... He has us.

When we lived in England, we went to see the city of York. The first time we went, I had no clue what was about to unfold as I turned one corner and looked ahead to the end of the street.  There standing before me was the magnificent York minster.  The sight took my breath away.  It rose 230 feet set against a clear blue sky and the sight just seemed like one of those fake backdrops you sometimes see on television! This sight we were amazed by was the real reveal! We wondered how something so glorious could be real?  Yet there it was.  Its mere presence demanded that we notice the majesty of the one that the building was dedicated to as the builders dedicated over 200 years to building it.  The workers who began the work were not around to see the finish!  

And it was an unforgettable sight.

Looking ahead to the New Year can be like that.  We have no idea what lies ahead for us around the next corner.  It may be a glimpse of His glory unlike any we have seen before.

It  could be a clear glimpse of His glory... just suddenly there before our very eyes.

Making an obvious display of His majesty.

Or it may be wrapped in hard. And we may have to walk through that hard before we can see His glory in His plans.

We may never see His glory the way He planned it to unfold while we are in this life.

Whatever lies ahead, one thing we can count on is that He is with us, and that He will help us.

So I will ask myself these questions:

Has the last year been hard?

Has Jesus been here with me?

Did His grace meet my needs?

Will my next year be hard?

It might.  It certainly can be.

But will worry or fear make it less hard?

Of course not.

We don't know what the future holds, but He does.

And He holds us ... whatever the future brings our way.

We tend to look at what is possibly ahead without factoring in that part.

He holds us.

He knows what is coming.

Good or Bad ... He knows.

He has hitherto helped us.

And He always will.

We can look ahead without fear overwhelming us.

We can rest in the knowledge that He will be with us whatever comes, draw near to Him and look ahead with gratitude for all He has helped us with so far.

We can open our hands to receive whatever He has for us in the future without fear,

because there is always good to be seen, even though it may be wrapped in hard.

There is always good because He is always good.

And we might make at least one of our New Year's resolutions to be that we will live every moment drawing closer to Him, regardless what might lie around the corner.

Because whether this year holds good or bad things...

"the nearness of God is my good"

My good will always be in His nearness.

Praying that this year finds

us all living every moment drawing closer to Him

___________________________

One thing I am going to do this year is to list all of the Bible verses I find that teach the truth that our good is found in His nearness.  

I tend to think that if certain things happen?  That will be good.  

I have found that is not the case. 

I can face anything.  

Anything.  

What I need is Him.  

Near.

That alone is my good.

That alone is what I am depending on this year. 

And you?  What are you depending on?  

___________________________

Open My Hands

Sara Groves

___________________________

Please join me in prayer for those who already know that they will be facing hard this year.

Pray that God's grace will meet them there.

IN their hard.

That they will know they are held.

On Looking for the Light

There was a song I heard sung by a trio in our church years ago.

It was called, "I Have Seen the Light"

The lyrics were amazing...

"I have seen the light, shining in the darkness, bursting through the shadows, delivering the dawn"

Light!

Lights always bring a bit of wonder to any place.

We just happen to live near a neighborhood that is immersed in lights at Christmas.  

The people who live there make the streets around them glow with lights of every imaginable shape and color.

We love to watch them as Christmas approaches and they begin to decorate.

They put weeks into getting all of the lights put in place for the enjoyment of the visitors who come to ooh and aah over them.  

And boy do they come!  

The streets are filled with cars slowly moving through the neighborhood as people amazed at the lights continue to come year after year.  Each year bringing more visitors than the last.

Light creates a unique beauty whatever form it takes; in the neighborhood displays at Christmas to the Creator's own display in sunrises to sunsets.

In our own house, we are situated in a way that light coming into the front door acts as little prisms of light, casting miniature rainbows across the walls and floors of our entryway.

It's fascinating.

Everyone in our house has found some delight in catching sight of the rainbows.

And holding them in our hands.

But the light always reflects back to the One who is the Light.

And the giver of light.

To Jesus.

In the past few years, I have taken pictures of light shining in places, and have noticed something.

Sometimes light is the most beautiful when it is framed in shadows.

Light with shadow.

Brilliant light framed by darkness.

Shadows do not mean that there is no light.  

Light is there or there would not be a shadow.

And in our own lives, when it seems that God is not nearby, we know He is.

Even when we don't see Him.

We know He is because He said so Himself.

He said He would never leave us.

His name, Immanuel, it means He is with us.

But when we walk through a shadow, it seems like we are walking alone in the darkness.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

Many (actually, more than many) years ago, my husband and I, in different countries at that time, discovered the same author; Oswald Chambers. 

One devotion in particular spoke to us both.

It was about times of darkness in our lives.

Treasures of Darkenss - Chambers

Isaiah 45:3

It is the glory of God to conceal His treasures in embarassments, in things that involve us in difficulty.  I will give thee the treasures of darkness.  We would never have suspected that treasures were hidden there, and in order to get them we have to go through things that involve us in perplexity.  There is nothing more wearying to the eye than perpectual sunshine, and the same is true spiritually. The valley of the shadow gives us time to reflect and we learn to praise God for the valley because in it our soul was restored in its communion with God. God gives us a new revelation of His kindness in the valley of the shadow.  What are the days and the experiences that have furthered us most? The days of green pastures of absolute ease? No, they have their value; but the days that have furthered us most in character are the days of stress and cloud.

I love how he said, "God gives us a new revelation of His kindness in the valley of the shadow"...

The treasures of darkness.

His goodness in our hard.

We need to know He is near to us these days.

His light is needed in our world.

And it is here.

We see it in the light of angels bringing the good news to shepherds.

And in that manger in the dark street where a baby was laid...

And in the words of the songs of Christmas.

"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining... Till He appeared!

And the soul felt its worth..."

He came ... and showed us that we have worth!

"A thrill of hope!  The weary world rejoices!"

"Fall on your knees!

Hear the angel voices!

O night divine...

(video clips from The Nativity... song by Sara Groves "O Holy Night")

On Disappointments in December

It was a simple question that came right out of the blue.

We were talking about presents when he asked me which Christmas was my favorite.

I stumbled for words.

Not because I didn't know what to say, but I just could not come up with the right word.  This happens a lot when I am talking to someone.  Part of where I am right now in this story of life after cancer treatment.  I know what I want to say, but the words or thoughts I want to use go wandering somewhere between my brain and my lips, and I just cant find it.

Just sometimes.

But this was one of those times.

So I did not talk about the memory that has always been my favorite Christmas.

The one I always share about a time as a young wife with a new baby, and no money for a tree and a car that did not work and the first Christmas in a new country with no family around.

and... the wonder of our first snow, a new tune for Away in the Manger, being surrounded with new friends who also missed family...

That story will have to wait for another time.

Instead,  I talked about a Christmas when I was also a child.

It is not hard to bring up the memories of my childhood Christmases.  The whole experience of Christmas was something I treasured.

Every sensation imagineable!

The smell of cookies and the taste of fudge or divinity from the kitchen, the feel of soft tinsel and scratchy pine needles, smooth wrapping paper and snuggly blankets, the sound of carols and the sight of all the glittering ornaments, sparking lights and beautiful window displays in the stores downtown.

And most of all the magical feeling that something special was on the horizon!

Oh my the anticipation!

This anticipation that something wonderful was just on the horizon?

This was the reason for the question in the first place.

The anticipation had moved from something that should have been one of  joyful expectation to one of worry.

Worry that a recently discovered item was not discovered in time to make it under the tree by Christmas morning.  

Worry that Christmas morning would bring disappointment.

I know that kind of worry.

There was this one Christmas in particular.

For some reason, my parents had told me I was going to get a giraffe.  It was the code name they had given to some new clothes they'd gotten me.  But the code escaped me.

All I understood from that mysterious clue was that I was getting a giraffe.

Seriously?  I had not asked for a giraffe.  I had not even thought to ask for a giraffe.

The logistics of the whole thing was more than I could get my mind around.

Still, my little mind reasoned...it just might be fun to be the only person in our neighborhood to have a giraffe for a pet!  Our very own personal tree trimmer!

What made matters worse, was that a commercial aired on television at the time of a giraffe being transported in a truck to some destination unnamed.

When I saw the commercial, I wondered if this was indeed, my giraffe?

If there was some truth to this story after all?

So I worried, about how I was going to take care of a giraffe, and then the disappointment I would feel if I did not get one.

When Christmas morning arrived, I opened each present wondering if there would be a clue as to where I would find my giraffe.

No giraffe.

And my child-heart was disappointed.

I don't think I am the only one to have experienced that.

I think disappointment is often a side effect of Christmas.  Disappointment in things and also in people.  We get hopes up unrealistically, and then something or someone disappoints us.

It is not a new thing, this disappointment.

Just think back over 2,000 years ago.

To the first Christmas.

The nation of Israel felt abandoned.  No word from their God for so long.
No angels, no prophets... nothing except a promise that God would send a deliverer.

Their hopes ran high.

But what they hoped for was not exactly what they got either.

They had hoped for a mighty King... a warrior to free them from oppression once and for all.

What they got was a baby.  Helpless and fragile.  Born into a family in poverty.

I'm sure if they had seen Him that night without the benefit of the angels announcement, or the guidance from the star, they would have wondered what God was doing...and they would have been disappointed.

In their own way of working out how God would send them a savior, a king seemed like a reasonable solution.

But, a baby?

It's easy to see how the logistics of this whole plan would have escaped them.

Did escape them.

Often.

Like when their king went out of His way to heal unclean lepers, and play with the children, and feed the hungry...
and wash their feet.

Like when He died.

Thankfully humanity was not the one in charge of the logistics for this event.

In fact, the logistics of most of our big events are not up to us, or we would never get sick or hurt or betrayed or lose loved ones.

No tears anymore.

We would never have planned for a cross.

But would have also missed the thrill of the empty tomb.
And the freedom of forgiveness.

If our hopes consist of what exactly comes under a tree, in a diagnosis, or in a kingly leader to deliver us from our troubles, then we have reason to be afraid of what lies ahead.

But our hopes lie in that baby.

Something that seems completely wacko to the way most of us in the world think...

but we have a God who does not think like most of the world.

And so we have this beautiful amazing treasure.  A baby.  The Son of God.
Who happens to be ...

God Himself with us.

God Himself the gift.

And therein lies the wonder.  He is with us.  Walking with us.  Wrapping His arms around us in our pain, rejoicing with us in our joy.

Always!

While I was sad at first that I did not get a giraffe that Christmas, I did unexpectedly get something that has stuck with me all of these years.

I think that might have been the first Christmas that I knew a little of something called wonder.

The initial disappointment in the lack of a giraffe was soon replaced with relief.

A lot of relief.

And the memory?

The memory
has been a treasure.

One of my favorite Christmases.

When We Face the Unexplainable

The best stories, the ones I go back to read again, are the ones that finish well.

And by that, I mean the ones with a happily ever after kind of ending.

But right now?  In this world?  These days?

Every time I watch the news I see how chilling the world we live in can be.
My heart is moved for people that I don't know anything about ...
except to know that they are facing horrible suffering.
Horrible gut wrenching suffering.

And the people that I do know are not exempt from pain either.

We may wonder, why does God allow it?

Where is God while this is happening?

Sometimes, if I'm honest about it, I feel like I could use an answer.
That it might make me feel better.

A specific answer.

Something to help take away the bewilderment that so often comes with great sorrow.

Something to explain  the horrible disease, the great shock of betrayal or the numbing of loss.

We face the unexplainable and feel helpless.
Because we are helpless.

We can't fix it.

We can't eliminate suffering.

and
We can’t answer the question why, because we are not God.

We are not God.

There was that night I heard a father ask no one in particular “Who did this”
while his daughter faced an outcome that was not good.

As if to answer his own question, he pointed his finger straight up towards Heaven.

His spirit and his heart were broken.

They were crushed, and he spoke from a place of great sorrow.

Sorrow like I have never known.

His mother, the child’s grandmother, did not offer an answer to his question, but gently said, 

“You can’t blame God for this.  You know He didn’t do it.” 

The father replied, out of His brokenness, 

“But He could have stopped it and He didn’t.”

If good results points to a good God, what does pain say about God?

About His ability?

About His love for us or His goodness to us all?


The truth is, we live in a fallen world.

Nothing is as God created it to be.

In reality, He could have turned His back on us.
But He did not.

These hard things do not change who God is.
They do not take away from His goodness.

This mother speaking from her own place of brokenness wrote words to share with us that
suffering does not mean the absence of God.

She also shared something else that resonates with me... that our good?

It is found only in His nearness.

This time of year, as Christmas approaches, this truth takes on a new depth.
As I think about the fact that my good is found only in His nearness.

That nearness is only possible because
 He was the one who took the first step.

He came to be with us.
To be near.

That question "where"?

Where is God when I am hurting?

Where is God in this situation?

He is here.

Immanuel.

God.

With me.
With you.

And He is grieving with us.

He carries our burdens.
And He comforts us in our sorrow.

This time of year, He reveals it quietly to us.

In the presence of a baby.

But not just any baby.

All the holiness and majesty of our good God wrapped in the skin of a newborn.

The eternal God with a birthday.

He came to us because He wanted to be with us.

We may never know why there is hard in our life and the lives of others.

But us not knowing why does not make God any less God.

Not one little bit.

Christmas reminds us.

The real meaning, the answer, to all of our questions is wrapped up in that little baby.

_________________________

I hope that in your own search for meaning to your pain,
that you do not point fingers at God,
but instead, turn your face toward Him and seek His nearness.

Christmas helps us to see that His great desire is to be with us!
To be near to us.

You may be like me and dream of stories with good endings.

God has promised to those who follow Him that a happy ending is coming one day.

That the God who came to us will come for us.

But until that happens?

We can find peace in knowing there is also a great story being written for us now,
even when the ending we hope for goes unrealized.

Because God is the writer of our story, and He is also the One who does all things well.

This includes your story.

Open your heart, your hands to Him and say with so many who have gone before you,

In my story God?
Your will is what I long for, and I trust my story to Your pen.

And then, seek His nearness.

  

He has already taken the first step.

_________________________

The Lord is near to the broken hearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

_________________________


"Hope is Alive"
Ellie Holcomb

On Why I Keep this List

I have been an occasional list maker in my life, but this one has been different.

Most lists have a purpose to accomplish, and then I discard them.

This one has been ongoing for several years now, and I don't think its purpose will ever be completed until I stand in Heaven one day!

It is the list that I have been writing of things for which I am thankful to God.

This particular list got its start in 2011, but it is not the first time I have written out a gratitude list.

I was able to grow up under the teaching of a preacher who loved to encourage those in our church to be thankful people.

********

Colossians 2:6-7 (HCSB)

Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him rooted and built up in Him, and established in the faith, just as you were taught, 

overflowing with gratitude.

********

Thankfulness was one of the frequent themes in his teaching, and he would often encourage us all to make thankfulness a part of our life.

He actually challenged us to do that...
sometimes by suggesting that we write down 100 things that we were thankful for.

So, this idea of writing out things to be thankful for was something I was well acquainted with.

Then I read a book that took the idea of a gratitude list to new levels. 

Levels that changed me.

********

The book was called One Thousand Gifts.

I first learned about it when I saw a trailer for the book. 

It was made by the author.

Her voice and her words captivated me. 

Her message brought tears.

In the book, the writer Ann Voskamp, wrote about a challenge 

given to her by a friend  

and how that challenge brought about the results that changed her own life. 

The challenge was to write down 1000 things that she loved.

********  

Think just a moment about the things in your life that you love.
People? Memories? Every day simple happenings? Nature's wonder? God's work in your life?

Just look at a few of those and you will probably come to the same conclusion that she did.
All of these things you love are gifts.
Gifts from a God who loves you in unmeasurable ways.

How do you respond to a God who loves extravagantly like that?
With a heart full of thanksgiving of course!

But think about doing this and then take it one step further.
Count all the ways He loves you by keeping a list of those gifts.

It was the perfect time for me to make this simple activity a part of my life.

First, I had an empty journal that would be perfect to use. My daughter had given it to me the year before, and I had not found a use for it yet. I was saving it because it was so pretty, and I wanted to have only lovely thoughts to fill it.

This list would serve a great purpose for that journal.

Second, our church had given several challenges for the start of the new year.  One of the suggestions was to write down one thing a day that you were thankful for.

The third thing was that at this time in my life, we had a lot of things we were dealing with.  I was searching to make sense of all the pain, and where God was in all of it.

I wondered why at this time in my life when I needed Him so much, it seemed that He was nowhere near.

And then came the idea to do this list?  It certainly felt like the perfect thing for me to do at that time, so I took the journal out of the drawer and started thinking about what I should write first.

I mean, this first thing?  It had to be perfect, right?
(Oh how God has showered grace on this perfectionist since I started counting His gifts!)

Soon after I took out my empty journal,  I was driving on my way to the grocers and looked up briefly at a huge black bird that was perched on a light post.  Just as I drove under it, the bird spread his wings out, and God just gave me a sense of peace just knowing that He would keep me through all that was happening... safe under His wings.

And I felt that I had the perfect start for my journal.

It was my #1:
"A big black bird sitting on a lamp post.  As I drove under him, he spread out his beautiful wings... and God spoke peace to my heart.  I will take refuge under the shelter of Your wings."  

Right from that start there was so much excitement and joy in keeping this list.  I started to notice all kinds of things going on around me.  It was almost like waking up to all that was and already had been going on every day in my life... but I had missed it.

#42 berries on a winter bush
#104 hugs
#271 baby toads as seen through the delighted eyes of the kids :)

I reached the goal I had set of recording 1000 gifts during 2011.

As I approached the 1000th gift, I knew this was not going to stop.

So I continued into 2012.

#1,278 cool spring mornings
#1,279 sneezing
#1,280 sneezing stopped

Besides becoming more aware of things He was doing in my life and in the world around me, something else happened. My understanding of His goodness grew, and my trust in His sovereign will also became a more certain thing.

#1,382 deep thoughts - on deep grace
#1,431 for words to speak my heart to You...even when they don't form in my mouth

I knew that no matter what kind of things I might face in life, the God that I served was a GOOD God, and He loved me more than I could ever imagine.
He loved me much more than I could ever deserve.

My relationship with Jesus became increasingly very real... and personal.

My love for Him grew by leaps.

 And then...

Near the end of 2012, my husband was in a terrible accident.
He walked away from it, but we were faced with a long list of unknowns at the time.

#1841-  praising You now for how You will walk through the unknown that is ahead of us.
#1844-  for seat belts and air bags that worked
#1845-  for Your invisible protection that surpasses seat belts and air bags!

Just seven months after the accident, in July of 2013, while we were in the middle of discussions about surgery to repair his collarbone, I discovered a lump under my arm.

Tests followed.  And then a biopsy.  While we waited on results, the list continued.

#2,688- for laughter in hard times
#2,732- that only when we are weak, but also certainly when we are weak, YOU are our strength!
#2,746 - 2,758 - these are the items in the picture you see of His promises at the top of this blog.

We found out I did indeed have cancer.
2013 ended with treatments and baldness.  2014 started with a calendar filled with doctor appointments and planned surgeries for both of us; chemo treatments and radiation for me.  It was a full calendar of not so fun things.

And we learned this... facing hard things in life does not mean He is not near or that He is not good.

Even when what is going on around us does not look very good.

We were more convinced than ever that He loved us more than we can begin to imagine; and so much more than we will ever deserve.

And we know more than ever that His grace will always be there to meet us in our need.

Always.
Because we had already seen it happen.
Over and over again.

Because I wrote down even tiny things, I am able to go back and remember them; things I might have forgotten had I not recorded them.

#3,260- Aloxi and Benadryl and Zantac
#3,976- sad movies that led to hard discussions that we needed to have

Through all of it, the good, the bad and the hard.
We saw it over and over again.
His grace displayed in big and small ways.

#4,891- these long hard years ... You have held onto us.

Over the years since I started this list, I have seen Him make needed changes.
Changes in me and in my heart.
I have dealt with pride, perfectionism and my need for control.

He has shown me that He loves working with and in broken people.
It hasn't been easy.
Still isn't.

These are ongoing changes.
But it has been so good to face the areas that need to change in my life and experience His mercy towards me in the midst of them.

And today?
What am I going to write down today in this ongoing list of God's gifts?

Besides a very timely audio recording sent to me by my far away loves?

#5,623 This list.

I can't imagine going through the things we have faced without the grace I have seen by keeping this ongoing count of His abundant and never ending gifts to us.

To me.

This simple list ... a habit I hope to never stop.
Because His gifts to us never end.

________________________

Hebrews 12:28

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us hold onto grace.

(note: or let us give thanks, or let us have grace)

By it, we may serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe...

(Holman Christian Standard Bible)

________________________

So how do you get started?  Get a notebook.  (It doesn't have to be a pretty one. ) The real treasure you will find out is what you are writing inside this book.  A simple spiral notebook will do just fine.

Make it easily accessible.  I keep mine out on a table or near where I have my Quiet Time. This way if something comes up during the day, I can jot it down before I forget it.

Be spontaneous with it.  Write it whenever you feel a nudge to do so, even if you feel it is silly at the time. Trust me, those things have been some of the most delightful to me when I read the list now.

Be honest with it.  Sometimes, especially if I am hurting, I take mine and just go sit outside - anywhere that I can be alone and share honestly what is on my heart.  Some of my journals contain those painful moments where I pour my heart out to God even on paper with ink; with tears.  And then just wait somewhere. Wait on God to show me something.  He always has. Sometimes it is a promise He brings to mind, or sometimes it's just the majesty of a sunset.

Be creative with it.  It is YOUR journal.  Let your own creative gifts determine how you fill it.  I have drawn pictures, glued little flower gifts from grandchildren, tickets to the zoo, and traced their handprints in mine.

There is no wrong way to do this, so get started!  You'll be oh so glad that you did...

________________________

The Hard of Waiting

The time was right…

I had read this blog post years ago, and something about it resonated with me.  I remembered it.

(Truth is, there are often things that resonate with me in this woman’s writing.)

We were in a store when we noticed  the tulip bulbs and remembered the post. 

My husband knew as well as I did, that it was time… for us both.

We chose a box of bulbs.  

One box filled with beautiful shades of pinks and oranges…

a promise of new life.

Even though the promise was wrapped in something that looked kind of dead 

and very unpromising.

On a dark and dreary, cold November day after Thanksgiving was over, 

we took those bulbs outside and dug some deep holes in the ground, 

and buried them.

Because our hope is in the God who loves us more,  we remembered as we put the bulbs into the ground, that this hard we faced was something we did not control.  

That it had to be Him who brought life, or there was no hope.”

And because there is always hope, we can bury it.

whatever it is

And leave it in His hands.

We had no idea how He would move in the things that were on our hearts that morning.

But what we did know was that He would move.

Isn’t that what He is always doing?  

From ancient times no one has heard, no one has listened, no eye has seen any God
except You,
who acts on behalf of the one who waits for Him.
Isaiah 64:4 (HCSB)

Those tulips had great potential to grow and bloom. 

If they survived the dark.  

If those hungry squirrels did not get to them first. 

If there truly was life in them, 

Too many ifs can distract us from the promise.

So we walked away.

And waited.

Whatever happened with these dreams and our hopes, 

He was here with us. 

And in His presence all our hopes are met.

The hopes and dreams that were buried?

Our lives could go on without us ever realizing them as reality.

But we could not go a moment without His Presence.

And we had that.

Even when I go through the darkest valley, 
I fear no danger,
for You are with me
Psalm 23:4 (HCSB)

We waited for the bulbs to bloom

and looked forward to the spring.  

I wondered if maybe Easter we would see them appear.

It would have been a beautiful picture if that was how it happened.

But that was me again… 

trying to picture God moving and working in ways I planned.

In ways I directed or controlled.

In case you don’t know it yet, God doesn’t do that.  

He doesn't take direction from us.

And our tulips did not bloom at Easter. 

-and-

There were no tulips in Spring.

...

They bloomed before Spring.

They bloomed while it was still Winter. 

Before my expected time.

And at a time in our life where their appearance meant more than it ever would have meant had God waited until my idea of perfect timing.

This God of ours?

He moves in mysterious ways.  

In dark places where hope is not easily seen or achieved.

He is making things beautiful …

in His timing and for His purpose.

His dreams for us are so much better than ours could ever be!

So whatever it is that you are facing?  Whatever you are dealing with?

You will never put that situation in more trustworthy hands.

Leave everything to Him.

Even when the tulips don’t bloom…

Even when you bury your dreams and you do not see good in the situation.

When you see no reason for HOPE at all…

You can trust Him.

He is good.

And He loves you so very much!!

He loves you more.

For us? 

Those tulips were a reminder.

A reminder that even in our hopeless days... there is always still hope.

Because the God of Hope is moving in the stillness where we can’t see.

But sometimes He gives us a glimpse of what is waiting for us one day...

____________________________

The Rain Keeps Falling by Andrew Peterson

____________________________

Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.

On Beauty in Seasons

The writer of Ecclesiastes said,
He has made everything beautiful in its time 
(Eccl. 3:11 ESV)




We just spent the last couple of days together in the car on the road to see some glimpses of a small bit of that beauty.


Leaves in glorious fall colors displayed in all the grandeur that we have come to expect from years of looking at pictures.


We were not disappointed...those colors showed up and showed off!


Myriad hues of reds and oranges, yellows and greens and browns - all that you could possibly dream!

A stunning display set in a garden near the foothills of the Appalachian mountains.


Just beautiful.


But this dazzling scenery is only there for us for a brief period.

Soon this beauty will be replaced with bare branches.

Winter brings a new and different backdrop.

The black silhouettes of empty branches will soon stand out against a brilliant snow covered background

... and we will be provided a new look in that new season.


And then spring will come... and summer.

Each season brings its unique kind of beauty.


This is true whether in seasons of nature or during seasons of life.

There is always some beauty all around us.

And like the foliage of this season, the beauty does not last long.

If you don't open your eyes to see it, you can miss it.


Look at that little one near you and you will know exactly what I mean.


Too often we can be blinded by the hard or the ugly in our seasons and miss the gloriousness in the moment.

Because honestly, there is hard to be found in this life. And hard does demand our attention.

Seasons of pain and suffering, disease or loss are hard!

Sometimes, just getting up and going through your day can be hard.

Talk to young moms in their often overwhelming tasks of keeping up with all that is involved in preparing little lives for future years.

They will tell you that they also know something else.

They know that the hard days are not all there is to this season.

There are also times of beautiful in the little voices learning to say I love you, and Mommy.  The little dimples on the backs of little fingers, and at the edges of little smiles. The snuggles and kisses. The twinkling eyes and the first songs sung... with so much emotion it takes your breath away!

They just open their mouth ... and let it go :)



The springtime of life does not hold the ticket to hard.

There  is also hard on the autumn side of life too.

The turning loose of hopes and dreams side of life.

The saying our goodbyes side as our little ones leave home.

The realization that winter is just around the corner side.



Spring's beauty is wrapped up in new growth but Autumn's is signalling an end.

I read some about autumn leaves to find out what is behind these gorgeous colors this time of year.

While the green is a result of chlorophyll in the leaves, as the tree prepares to shed its leaves, the supply of chlorophyll is slowly shut down.

And the colors of the leaves that we see in the fall begin to appear.

 As sad as it is to think the trees are preparing to lose their leaves for the winter months, God has created them to do it magnificently.

Every stage of their life is a beautiful display of His glory...

We are also created to give Him glory.  In every stage of our hard and beautiful life!

Fall can be a reminder for us to focus our attention in that direction.
To open our eyes to see His glory.
To live each day for His glory.

While it is easy to be sad as we watch days go by faster and faster,  we do have today.

And today there is beauty for us to enjoy.

For He has made everything beautiful in its time...

In whatever season He has placed us, we need to be looking for ways that His glory can be displayed in our lives.

By our actions as well as our words.

Because He makes it all beautiful in its time... and this is our time, where we are right now.

Where ever that might be.

-----------------------------

The pictures I used for this blog were taken by me in a garden in Georgia called "Gibbs Garden"
 You can read about it here:   http://www.gibbsgardens.com/
It is even more gorgeous than my pictures can show!

Thanks Teresa Thomas for posting your pictures and whetting our appetities :)
It was a journey we will not forget.

On Burden Lifting

Backpackers know things...



Like how to make it to your destination.

On foot.

And over mountains and rocks, through streams and in spite of PUDs .

For those like me who are not familiar with backpacker lingo, that means pointless ups and downs. It's where you think you are about to reach the top of a mountain only to find that there is another climb down before you can continue to go up.

Tough stuff that.

Very often, the conversations at our house are about the trips Bud (my Mr. Amazing) made to the mountains to walk along part of the mountain path known as the Appalachian Trail. 

This has been something that he took up for himself and did for many years.  While we both enjoy time spent in mountains and by the ocean, he really finds that his best times of soul renewal happen when he is in those mountains.

I need to state right away that backpacking is not, nor ever has been, an activity that we have shared.  While I do enjoy going camping, I am just spoiled enough to really need to have those hot showers and electrical outlets available nearby! 

My not going doesn’t mean that he goes hiking alone.  He has gone with family members as well as friends. On these trips, there have been anywhere from just two people to 20! 

I believe they enjoyed those trips, though "enjoyable" might not be the word they would use if you asked them when they first came back home!  But even while nursing sore feet,  I have seen this happen again and again, that after a few days pass by, the talk goes right back to the trail, to the next trip and how the next trip was going to be so much better.

When we were talking about all of this the other day, something struck home with me. 

I asked him what the hardest part of backpacking was, and he told me that it was carrying the weight.

That while you can prepare by taking walks carrying a full backpack on your back, it isn't until you are actually on the trail, day after day, climbing and descending, that you just really know how hard it is on your body and how quickly it zaps your energy. 

I watched him over time make little improvements to his backpack, going with lighter items and completely disregarding some great new gadgets that would only add to the weight.

Things that had proved unnecessary in the past.

I’m sure that this is what Paul had in mind when he said that we should “lay aside every weight” in Hebrews 12:1.

It was the next point in the conversation that the topic took on more meaning to me.

Bud told me that there was one time when he needed to carry a heavier load than he would normally carry, and how one of the men with him noticed.  Without saying a word, this good friend took items from my husband’s pack and added them to his. 

Never making a big deal about it, just stepping in and sharing the load.

I think this is a perfect picture of how we should be with each other's burdens in this life. 

There are times when we most certainly can make another’s journey easier when we take on some of the burden they are attempting to carry alone.

Galatians 6:2 (NLT) says we should: 

 “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

We have been so very blessed in our life by the burden sharers God sent our way during the hard in our life. 

Family and friends who have encouraged us by cards, phone calls, Facebook comments, flowers, Bible promises and visits.  By numerous restaurant gift cards and meals.  By a getaway trip. By blankets and slippers and books and tapes and pink pens and so much more.

We have been amazed as God used some very special (actually beyond special) people to meet the bigger needs for us in big ways as well.  Bills paid, groceries bought, gas provided, cars loaned, and countless times of help.

So much more than we had ever hoped. 

At a time in our life when we could have given up under the burden we carried, 

their help made it possible to keep going.

It is no understatement to say that we are and will be forever grateful to them 

and also to the Lord for them.

I remember at the beginning of this, when someone was looking at our situation, being asked what we were going to do, and only being able to say, I don’t know.

By all standards, it looked pretty hopeless.

If you leave God out of it...

So here we are on the other side, and I can see how this happened because of the actions of each and every one of these people who put self aside and just showed up and helped us.

I am so thankful to have seen first hand how beautiful it is when it happens


and you are on the receiving end.

I want to be on the burden lifting end for others as well... 

______________________________

I could talk now about how life resembles those PUDs (pointless ups and downs)…

but that will be another post

another day.

________________________________

In the meantime,
if you have ever wondered about how to help someone in their hard place,

let me direct you over to the blog Mundane Faithfulness 

where there is a lot of talk is about a new book by Jill Buteyn.  

Written with Kara Tippetts, it's about stepping in to another’s place of need and sharing the load.

It’s called Just Show Up...

And it is really good!  

________________________________

Our God - Full of Wonder

I have been thinking about a lot of things these days,

and I have come to this conclusion...

I hope there are pictures.

Because there are some things I missed that I would love to see.

I want to know what it looked like to see the twinkle in Eve’s eyes before sin took away the delight of innocence.

What was it like to look down on the earth when it was covered with water, and only the ark rested on the surface.

And what was the scene when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stood alone?

Alone, amidst a crowd of people with bowed backs and knees bent?

I wonder who and what Daniel prayed about?  

What activity went on in that den of lions the night Daniel was thrown into it?
Were the angels there armed with swords drawn and were the lions prowling about?
Or were those wild beasts sitting and purring at his feet, calmed by the presence of God’s messengers?

I want to see the earnest expression on the face of Hannah in prayer, and the change of expression on Eli’s face as he realized his error in judgment for the reason behind her behavior.

And I wonder what the scene was like when Elijah introduced his servant to the army of angels that were surrounding them, ready to take up the fight, and what exactly did that army look like?

Then Elijah prayed and said, O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.  (2 Kings 6:17 NASB)

I would love to see the handwriting of God.
Besides the tablets of stone, how did his writing look when it was drawn out by His finger in the sand?

Yeshua bent down and began writing in the dust with his finger  (John 8:6 CJB)

What was it like to witness over a million men, women and children with livestock and possessions as they crossed a sea of water on dry land? What expressions were on their faces?

And what was the expression on Abraham’s face with his knife in his hand preparing for sacrifice, to hear the voice of the angel telling him to stop? And Isaac's reaction?

There are other things I would like to know. Things that can't be captured by a camera.

For instance, what did it feel like to walk barefoot in a garden created by God?

And what was that night like for those shepherds in the fields near Bethlehem as they stood surrounded by sheep with a sky that was filled with angels?

And what did their song sound like?

Were the sheep silenced by the grandeur?

Was there a stunned silence after the angels left them?

What was the reaction of the worshipers when the glory of God filled the house of God?

How does manna taste?

On the night of the Passover, did they trust God enough to ever take their eyes off their first born sons?

I am more certain than ever that I serve a God of wonder.

God who did these amazing things in the past is doing amazing things in the present.

Just ask anyone who has been caught up in a child's laughter or a child captivated by an ant, or a rainbow, or a dandelion.

Ask the doctor who can see no sign of the disease he was certain would still be there.

Look for it in a sunrise or sunset, a mountain top or a rich lush valley.  His wonders are everywhere.

In the hurry and worry that is all around us in this life, we can forget that the God who loves us is the same God who stilled the storms and healed the lepers.

We only need to be still to see His wonder surrounding us.

I know however, that there will be times when it seems that He is not involved in the happenings of our lives at all. 

Those times when the pain is great and the evil seems to be moving unshackled.

I know at those times it is easy to wonder where He is and what He is doing.

But I also know that He is doing. 

Take Esther for example.

This little book records a time when the annihilation of the Jewish people looked like a done deal.

Signed, sealed and just about delivered.

God seemed silent.  Absent even.

But He was not only present, He was doing.
He was moving.

He brought specific people into specific places to bring about a great rescue. 

Now there was a certain Jew at the palace named Mordecai... (Esther 2:5 TLB)

A coincidence? Not hardly.

God's name does not appear once in the whole book.

But our God... He is there.

And He is moving, He is doing and He is always working wonders.

He did then, and He is now.

_____________________________

Who else is like the Lord among the gods? Who is glorious in holiness like Him? 

Who is so awesome in splendor, 

A wonder-working God?  

(Exodus 15:11 TLB)

______________________________

What wonders trigger your imagination about the God we serve? Our God of all wonders?

How have you seen Him move on your behalf?

On Being Sisters

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; 

and His truth endureth to all generations.Psalm 100:5

Some milestones are made for celebrating and my youngest sister celebrated a milestone birthday this month!

You could say that we are all now officially “old” although I would repeat that at your own risk!

One might even say that I am the oldest. I choose to say I am the firstborn.

I am the firstborn of four girls in my family.

No boys, just girls. 

And everything you might imagine that goes along with that.

Even thinking about it is exhausting... four girls!

Various ages and multifaceted temperaments.

Yet we all made it safely to adulthood.

And we survived that journey in two bedrooms and one bathroom!

Don’t let that fact get lost.

We lived life from bobby pin curls in our hair to the much more comfortable sponge rollers later on.

We made the transition from baby dolls to Barbie dolls by recycling the same dolls from sister to sister.

Our dad built a doll house for our Barbie dolls once.  Mom decorated it.

It was huge; laid out on the floor like a blueprint with walls.

The house lasted until there was a fight and one of us ended up right in the middle of the house. 

One family car.  And one driver most of our years at home. And he worked an 8-5 job! So thankful for neighbors with cars who didn't mind adding a few more passengers on rainy days!

For 16 years there was a Taylor girl at our elementary school. The school was brand new when we started attending, and after 16 years, teachers may have come and gone, but those Taylor girls were still a part of the place.

For convenience, when there was a need to shop downtown, mom would load us all up on the city bus that stopped in front of our house, and we would spend the day with her.

Anytime we all went anywhere together, you could be certain that we got lots of attention. 

My mother was quite a seamstress, and made most of our clothes, as well as our dolls!

My father worked for a wholesale distributor, in the dry goods department.

He kept her supplied in fabric since the bolts of material with faults in them were given to him.

Our dresses may not have been the same style, but they were often the same fabric.

Four girls could be confusing enough to keep straight, but when the two youngest were dressed alike? Rely on it!

Four girls, one phone, and that one line was on a party line with our next door neighbor! 

Me:  Mr. A, I'm sorry but I need the phone.  It's an emergency.
(The emergency was trying to get a ride to some event at the school, and when Mr. A showed up at the door to find out what the emergency was, my parents were not amused)

All our names began with D, including the pets we took into our home.

And to continue the trend, we included our parents, Daddy and De-mama.

The differences in our ages were thirteen years, but because of the way we were spaced apart, our parents had teenage girls in the house for eighteen years!!

All of us played the flute.  All of us were in the symphonic and marching bands in high school.

That made thirteen years of high school football games and band concerts.

There was always a lot of activity going on at our house, from science projects to puppy births, our life was never dull (although I think I remember a lot of complaints of boredom just the same).

Female hormones pretty much ruled the day, and we all made our Dad feel very special for putting up with it.

I don’t think he ever complained about it.

Actually, I think he enjoyed being the only guy in the house!

Like any family, our lives were not picture perfect. 

There were some hard situations that we went through.

Thankfully we have grown up with an understanding of God’s love and forgiveness, and through the years, He has deepened our relationship with Him and with each other.

I am so grateful for these three special women, wives and mothers that my sisters have become, but I also am thankful that God has blessed us by giving each of us the husbands that we have.  So much like our own dad, they have all realized the unique connection we have and have celebrated our relationships along with us. 

We were all invited to share in honoring this milestone in the life of my littlest sister.
That night, we were given a very special surprise because this littlest sister had an old tape recording from a birthday party of hers.

A party decades in the past.

I did not recognize the voices at first.

My daddy sounded older somehow than my mind had remembered him.  And the Southern drawl we all had was almost shocking. 

Almost.

But the celebrating? Nothing unfamiliar there!  My, how there was so much talking!  So much joy!
Four girls can make more noise than you might think.

And with our Dad playing Master of Ceremonies, there was of course a lot of laughter!

At the end, there was one sister who had gotten her hands on the recorder after the party had ended.  

She was attempting to interview the birthday girl, and she asked in a very caring voice,
“How do you feel?”

Typical of the shyness that we all have, there was no response, to which the older one said, “She doesn’t like being recorded, but she likes the recorder. And now I’m going to listen to my voice!”

(shy, but a bit of a ham)

Oh yes, looking back now this was a good place where we grew up, surrounded by each other!

Very good.

This new milestone brings another new realization. 

We know that we can’t take each other for granted. 

We know that the years lived mean that there will not be as many years still to come that we will be together.

And we will face that time just like we have faced everything else. 

With God’s grace and love.

It’s good to have sisters.

___________________________

On a side note:
Sometimes we say the craziest things.  Things that make no sense to anyone else, but we all understand it completely.  We call it "D Dimension".
We now see it in our offspring... They will thank us for it years from now I'm sure :)

And... we have a mascot.  We decided that the Pixar character Dory fits the bill, and her name starts with a D.

Even in our old age...

____________________________

I love how God calls His church a family.  We have much in common that way.

Sisters might argue, even be mean, but they are a gift that makes it worth the effort to reconcile.

By His grace and with His forgiveness?  

It really is so good to be sisters!

Romans 12:5
So we, though many, are one body in Christ,
and individually members one of another.
_____________________

From four "flawless" sisters...